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I was having a conversation with, Chris, my beloved (a photo of us is to the left) recently where he asked me if I thought it was possible to have “closure” with the ending of a relationship. I told him that I think it is possible, but that I needed to define what I meant by closure first. I think closure is when there is no longer any emotional charge when you think about, or are in the presence, of that person. If you are still missing them, still angry, still feeling like you love them, still jealous, or any other emotion rises within you, then there is still work to do be come to get closure. Once you get to a state of closure, what will be left is gratitude for what you shared or gratitude that you are done, but overall, a sense of calm that you have moved on with your life. Ideally, the best place to be for your own well-being, is to wish them well.

I have been done with all the emotions associated with my ex-husband of 29 years...except one. He hired me to be the interior designer at a hotel he owns. We had meetings at the hotel every week. I was fine around him except for the tenseness. He is very nice but there is a judgementalness underneath the surface. I was always in fear of screwing up. Chris was the one who noticed that the tension lingered even days later. So I did a forgiveness meditation and was able to let go of most of what was causing the problem. I was surprised in the meditation how much I needed to forgive myself. I feel very comfortable around him and I’m truly happy for he and his new wife. They are a much better match than he and I were. And I now have the most amazing man in my life. continued

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