When You’re Looking To Get Him To Commit Long-Term, Be Positive

Of course, being positive, is universal advice but when you’re dating and looking for his long-term commitment, it’s really important that you develop the habit of being a positive person. One of men’s greatest fears is that the woman they fall in love with will turn into someone who is unhappy.

Here are a few suggestions for developing a more positive attitude:

1. Develop the habit of putting a smile on your face. Smiling creates chemical changes that will cause you to feel better, look better and lift the spirits of those around you.
2. Imagine that tthere is a smile inside your heart, or wherever you feel your core self resides within you. Make the feelig so real that you begin to carry that around with you all the time. You will have to consciously practice steps 1 and 2 but with time, they will become habits.
3. When you find yourself being negative, upset, frustrated, or angry, look at the situation and see what there is that is valuable. Is there a lesson to be learned, is there an opportunity to grow, to know yourself better? Ask yourself why you are being negative or feeling upset? Then do what you can to let go of the harmful feeling and replace it with a positive feeling. Often, just reminding yourself of something you are grateful for is enough to release the steam that has built up within you. Journaling can be very helpful as well.
4. Develop an attitude of acceptance. Not to be a doormat so that life walks over you, but to do everything you can to make things work out the way you want, then hand it over to the universe and trust that it will work out. Sometimes it doesn’t but you can’t blame yourself if you’ve done everything you can to get the outcome you want.
5. Develop a belief that “whatever is happening is supposed to be happening or it wouldn’t be happening.” (See my video on this topic at LipSmackinLove.tv) If y so ou look at every situation as something that is placed before you–either withh purpose or by accident–that you can learn something new about yourself, or to become a better, stronger, wiser person, then you will be less likely to get upset.
6. Look for the good in every person. I don’t like everyone I meet–like people who try too hard to be liked and then turn everyone off. But my heart goes out to even those truly undesirable people because I know they are hurting inside, obviously aching to be loved and appreciated.
7. Do whatever you can to be the most attractive woman you can be. If you need to lose weight, don’t make excuses, get out there and start execising and eating right. There is no other way. Get a good hair cut, coloring and style. Make sure your clothes are in good condition and flattering. You don’t have to have on the latest style if you’re wearing something that looks great on you. Be sure your teeth are healthy and sparkly. Over-the-counter whitening systems work great and can really make a difference. And of course, wear that smile.
8. Don’t ever badmouth your ex’s. If they were scoundrels–like one of mine, who swindled over $50,000 from me–speak of their deeds without emotion or anger, but not until you get to know a new man first. Just tell your date you fell out of love, which is the truth, but not the whole truth. You can mention the good that was there, such as in the beginning when you were first in love, and the  lessons you learned that made you who you are today.
9. Be upbeat in your conversations. Don’t get angry when you discuss things that have happened to you.
10. Don’t get upset about politics or religion. These topics should be avoided in the very beginning of dating someone, but when you need to find out how well you are matched, discuss these things in a matter-of-fact, level headed way. If you are passionate about something, go ahead and express yourself, but do so with Feminine Grace.
11. Be grateful. When you go to bed at night make a list of what you’re grateful for. It will begin to train your outlook on life to be much more positive.
12. Be in awe of the magnificent gift of being human, on this amazing planet, at this time in history. Your enthusiasm for being alive will grow with leaps and bounds.
13. Be naturally playful. Have fun with people you meet, young and old. Develop a habit of being the kind of person who makes people feel happy to be alive. The man you are with will enjoy you, even if you’re “not the right one.”

I think you’re getting the point. There is a lot you can do to consciously becme a positive person. The more you develop the qualities described above, the more desirable a mate you will become. The greatest benefit to you is that you will be a happier person and enjoy your life more.

More than anything, what a man wants from a woman is to feel like a man. If you use what is available in my upcoming ebook, Flirting Made Easy, he’ll definitely be intrigued.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

For more articles on love and romantic relationships please visit Kara Oh at Alive With Love here.