The Luxury of Love

Many of our reactions to each other, what attracts us and drives us to want to be with someone of the opposite sex is deeply embedded in our biology and has to do with survival over the eons of time. But today, because survival is not the motivating factor in our lives, we are blessed with the opportunity to fall in love, to pleasure each other with romantic gestures and to want a love that endures and deepens over time.

When survival was the motivating factor in a couple marrying and creating a family, there weren’t the complications of dating. Even today, many cultures still have arranged marriages where the most important factors are political, economic and whether or not the woman seems to have baby-making potential. But in many cultures, like here in the U.S., it’s a lot of work to find someone with whom there is a mutual attraction and even more work to keep that love and attraction alive over time. One thing that can really help people have greater success is to know each other better. It is estimated that 83% of divorces could be prevented if couples asked each other the right questions. For a list of the most important questions to ask, click here.

Most of our role models for modern relationships are from movies and television. With divorce, kids don’t have any kind of roll model of how it might be to have a home with loving parents. So we are making it up as we go, and it’s pretty obvious that we’re not doing a very good job. One of the best ways to stay “in love” is to create triggers that help us let go of the petty grievances and stay focused on the qualities that attracted us in the first place.

During some quiet time, write a description of the man you fell in love with. Focus on the things that you most admire, the things that made you tingle at the thought of him, the things you did together, and the things he did to you. Bring back the feelings you had when you were falling in love with him and you couldn’t keep your mind off of him. Unless he’s changed and is mistreating you, you can re-ignite those feelings of love. Think of the strongest trigger for you and lock that in as the thing that you will think about when you begin to get angry or frustrated at him, especially when it’s over petty things. I always think about how my husband looked during our wedding ceremony. Melts my heart every time.

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship or a perfect man or woman. But there is such a thing as love and it doesn’t have to die. But like any fire, if it doesn’t get tended, watched over, given more fuel to burn, it will go out. Love isn’t that easy to come by, especially love so strong that we actually want to marry someone. So how sad, when that love dies, especially if it is mostly because the relationship became less important than the job, the house, the social life, the shopping. Without love, life is lacking, like hearing a favorite love song, and having no one to ask to dance.

So make that list. Feel the feelings of love as you remember in vivid color, feel the emotions, and enjoy reliving the beginning of your love. Then share your best memories with your partner. Better yet, ask him to make a list of his own, then, on a special date or weekend away, share your memories. And don’t be surprised that you have new memories to share.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

How to Stay Happily Married

Will Smith was interviewed a while back and he talked about his reason for his successful marriage. He said there is no way that there won’t be really hard times in any marriage. If divorce is an option, then eventually, something will be difficult enough to bring down a marriage. For Will and Jada, divorce is not an option.

Because divorce is not an option for them, when the hard times come along, they work it out. But to have a happy marriage, not just an enduring one, there’s more to it than that. In the past, when my mother was a divorcee’, that was shameful because it was so rare. That word isn’t even used today. Yes, people stayed married but that doesn’t necessarily mean they were happier.

Because those couples didn’t necessarily have great marriage skills, many of them were not “happily” married. They tolerated each other, they slept in different rooms, they lived their lives, putting one step in front of the other.

So where is the successful balance of “divorce is not an option” and being “happily married?” Well, we need to learn how to communicate effectively, to know how to avoid the build-up of resentment – which is one of the quickest, and easiest, ways to kill love – how to consciously keep the romantic love alive, to keep sex a priority, to have fun together, to continue to trust and respect each otherhttp://www.alivewithlove.com. all the things that are essential to a happy marriage.

All those aspects of what makes a marriage happy and enduring can be learned. The sad thing today is that divorce IS an option for most couples and combined with no marriage skills, when things get difficult–and they always do–divorce is just too easy. What’s hard is to take responsibility, admit you both need to change and dig in and take the steps necessary to learn new skills. Then, after all has been tried, opt for divorce from a wiser position, not as an easy fix.

To learn the skills necessary to create an amazing marriage, I have two programs that can make the difference between divorce and a happy, fulfilling marriage. One is Men Made Easy and the other is Marriage Makeover Manual. It does take some effort, but the rewards are definitely worth it.

And if you want to know if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince, or all three, you’ll want to download my three free ebooks at KaraOh.com.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

He Doesn’t Give Me Enough Time and Attention!

“Your primary sense of self is through your relationships–as a mother, a friend, and a wife and lover; his is his success as a man.” Men Made Easy

A common complaint of women is that their boyfriend or husband is too busy with his work to give them the time and attention they want.

As I explain in one of the Secrets about men in Men Made Easy, a man’s work is how he defines himself ‘as a man.’ You need to understand this Secret because if you complain, what it feels like to him is you’re trying to rip apart his identity, basically, trying to emasculate him. Yes, he’s driven to be successful, BUT, and this is key, when you’re happy, he feels successful, so much so that if you’re unhappy, he feels like a failure.

First, you need to not take it personally. When he was working to win your heart, that was like a job to him. Once that goal was achieved, he went back to focusing on his work. That’s when you saw how he relates to his work. Some men can leave their work behind at the end of the day. Some can’t. You knew what you were getting involved with. So it’s not fair to complain and it makes you VERY unattractive.

When he does give you time and attention, appreciate the heck out of him by telling him how happy it makes you, how good it makes you feel, etc. But not all in one gush. Spread them out. When you do nice things for him, tell him, “I’m doing this as a thank you forhttp://www.alivewithlove.com., because it meant so much to me.” Hopefully he’s sensitive enough to notice what he’s been doing that makes you happy and that you are showing him how much you appreciate his attention in some pretty special ways.

The primary directive for a great relationship is to approach every situation with the idea of “how can you make this a win/win situation.” It’s not always easy, but ALWAYS worth the effort.

If you’re tired of being confused by men, and need dating or relationship advice, here’s 3 FREE ebooks that will help you begin to understand men better. Sign up to receive them here.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

Are You Ready For a Healthy Relationship?

Most people seem to want to have a good relationship. But what does good mean? For one woman, a good relationship might be when her significant other stops beating her. For another, a good relationship might be that he comes home for dinner on time. One might be that she doesn’t berate him in front of his friends. And for another, it might mean that he tells her he loves her at least once a week.

I want people to think beyond “good” and raise their expectations to having a “healthy” relationship. A healthy relationship is filled with love, respect, friendship, consideration, and caring. It’s a relationship where a man and a woman are truly best friends as well as lovers.

Too often people settle into relationships that are sometimes destructive, often unhappy, and frequently indifferent. I believe fear keeps people from daring to have more.

Sometimes people are afraid to be alone.

Sometimes they’re afraid to make a change.

Sometimes they’re afraid to talk about the problems.

Sometimes they’re afraid they don’t deserve a better relationship.

The truth is that everyone deserves a healthy relationship, and it’s worth the risk to go for what you want. My goal for you is that you have the best relationship possible. I’ll do everything I can to help.

I want to help you take charge and begin to be the happy, magnificent woman you were put on this planet to be. If you’re interested in joining me, the first step is to read Men Made Easy because that is the foundation of everything I teach, and where I introduce the concept of Feminine Grace. And you can join my support group where other women, just like you, are struggling with the very same issues you are.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

Be Sexy and Sensual

“As you cultivate your Feminine Grace, you’ll like your body more, be more comfortable expressing yourself, and relax. As you do so, your ability to enjoy sex will expand and you’ll become a more enthusiastic, available partner. The more you do that, the more love and intimacy you will create with your partner. From there, romance will flow, because he won’t be able to get you off his mind.” Men Made Easy

To be fully a woman, you must connect with your most sensual self. Sensuality is much more than just sex. It is the celebration of all the senses.

When you allow yourself to fully embrace the ecstasy of the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and textures of all that swirls around you, then, and only then will you feel fully alive. Your sensual self is the part of you that is able to celebrate the dance of life.

Read my current articles and key an eye out for upcoming posts by signing up for my newsletter. Ask for advice, and relish that part of you that is primal and real.

Some of the articles are necessarily graphic. If you are uncomfortable about explicit discussions of sexuality, don’t read my articles on sex and sensuality.

Without information, we go forward in ignorance. Ignorance causes unwanted pregnancy, disease and heartache. Love-making grows out of love and an understanding of ourselves, our partner and the joy of shared pleasure.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

Why Did He Stop Being Romantic?

This is a question I get a lot and of course, there is more than one reason. But this one is a biggie. You see, feminine is a lot about receiving, masculine is mostly giving and doing for. When you’re dating, he’s doing, he’s working toward a goal, he’s giving you his time, attention, gifts, making arrangements for dates and you enjoy receiving all that attention.

Then, you get comfortable and your become a couple. Your natural tendency to nurture kicks in and you start taking care of him. This is fine but you’ve switched the tables. It’s okay to give, but at this stage, you need to let him know it’s in appreciation for all he does for you, how beautiful he makes you feel (if, indeed, he does). Otherwise, you encourage him to be lazyhttp://www.alivewithlove.com. and can you blame him? To keep the romance going, you need encourage him to continue to give and do for you (but ONLY if you let him know how much you appreciate all he does and how special he makes you feel) which will make him feel like he’s being successful as a man.

Here’s a little video that explains this concept:

Hopefully, this will help you not go into that care-taking mode. Men don’t want or need to be mothered so just be sure you keep him happy he’s your MAN. Remember my most important secret about men, “A man wants to be with a woman who makes him feel like a man.”

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™

It’s The Little Things That Give Love It’s Wings

A woman wrote to me telling how much she liked my book, how it showed the mistakes she’d made with past relationships, including her now ex-husband, and how she liked doing for him. I got worried that she might have thought I was telling her she needed to be the dutiful little woman. No!http://www.alivewithlove.com.No!http://www.alivewithlove.com.No! That’s not it at all. Here’s the advice I gave her so she doesn’t blow it:

Hi Suzanne,

I enjoyed reading your email. Sounds like you’ve reconnected with your feminine energy. But you want him to treat you like a queen so don’t be docile, spoil or mother him. Everything you do for him should be in appreciation for what he does for you.

Examples: “Because you treat me so well, I’d like to cook dinner for you.” “You make me feel so beautiful. Can I give you a back rub as a thank you?” This way the romance won’t die. What almost always happens is when a woman feels secure in her new relationship, she starts doing for him. Cooking meals, making social plans, sometimes even buying him gifts. What man is going to say, “Hey, stop being so good to me, you’re taking my job away from me.” Of course he’s going to settle in and just let you do all those wonderful things. He gets lazy, you start wondering where the romance has gone, and he is clueless.

So, it’s okay to do for him, okay to even buy an gift occasionally, but always make it as a thank you or appreciation for what a great man he is for you, how he makes you feel, how well he takes care of you, how wonderfully he made love to you. This way, you don’t become a doormat, you keep encouraging him to do for you, he gets to feel like the man, etc. I hope this makes sense.

The moment you start nesting and doing wifely things or worse, treating him like a child, reminding him to do things, finding his keys, cooking, cleaning, doing laundryhttp://www.alivewithlove.com. he no longer has to work to keep you happy, which takes away one of his primary jobs as your man. So, when you do all those things, simply remind him how much you appreciate him, let him know how happy he makes you, how taken care you feel, how beautiful, sexy, etc. The last secret in Men Made Easy is: A man wants to be with a woman who makes him feel like a man.

So give him lots of opportunities to be your hero, appreciate the heck out of him, brag in front of him to his family and friends and he’ll be so happy that you’re his womanhttp://www.alivewithlove.com. because you make him feel like a man. Or when you want to do things for him, let him know it’s because he has been your hero. Then the masculine and feminine aspects of the dance of romance will continue.

The moment you become his mother, or cause him to get lazy because he doesn’t have to do anything to make you happy, the romance goes out the door.

Try it, it works.

From my heart to yours,

The Heart Whisperer™