Older Women, Younger Men

An older woman wrote to me recently, wanting to know how she could meet a man. This is a topic near and dear to my heart because my man is much younger. And NO, I am not a cougar. I do not like that term, any more than I like other labels. When we label something or someone, we put our own interpretation of what that means. I don’t even like the terms boyfriend or girlfriend for the same reason. But I digress…

Here’s what I told her:

Age is a huge issue because even older men usually want a younger woman. I am 63 and felt invisible to men. But my boyfriend, who is 39 said men did notice, I just wasn’t letting it in. He’s known me for over 2 years and was interested way before I realized it. So it can happen, and man, was I as surprised as anyone.

I have heard that your city is difficult, but women everywhere say where they live is difficult. Part of the problem is there are more women than men in almost every community.

First, it’s important to be okay with the possibility that you will not meet someone. Otherwise, there’s a bit of desperation in your energy, and men can ‘smell’ that a mile away. I had to get to that point and it felt pretty good. I was able to accept that if it happens, great, if not, I have an amazing life.

Then, you need to get out and stay active. Go to places men will be but not the clubs and bars. Take classes, go to lectures, charity events, or pick a sport–maybe bicycling, rowing, skiing–and join a club. Or take ballroom dancing, or salsa. Just stay very busy. And if you’ve read Men Made Easy, work on developing sparkling Feminine Grace. And use the Secrets about men with ALL men. You never know if one might be interested, or he might have a friend or relative who is looking for someone just like you.

I am in the most amazing relationship of my life. In my wildest dreams, I would not have thought a 39-year-old with two young daughters could be the man of my dreams…actually, I never dreamed anyone like him existed. So unless you’re totally turned off by the idea of a younger man, keep that as an option as well. There are a lot of younger men who like older women. Partly because a lot of younger women are such ball-busters, or are too needy. A sharp younger man enjoys the wisdom of an older woman, and the freedom they often have with their body and sexuality.

And definitely open your horizons to include men of other cultures and colors. I’ve always been attracted to black men, but in my community, there aren’t many. But lucky me, I’m living my fantasies, every day. Yummers!

The most important thing to do is get okay with being alone. Then your sense of self-assurance will be much more alluring.

If you want to learn the Secrets about men that EVERY woman really should know, you’ll definitely want to get your hands on Men Made Easy.

And if you want the 3 free ebooks that explain how men can be Cavemen, Dogs, and Princes, all at the same time, download them at KaraOh.com.
From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

Could This Be Why You’re Single?

I was talking to a 37 year old man today – I’ll call him Jake – about  his recent experiences with women. He related a conversation he had on  the phone with a woman he hadn’t even met yet. She told him she had 63  things on her list that she was looking for in a man. She’d recently met  one who had 61 items on her list but it didn’t work out. Yikes!

Then, she sent Jake an email that said she was feeling fat. THEY HAVEN’T EVEN MET YET!!! Is this woman crazy?

He said all the women he’s met have been bossy and controlling.  They’re angry, bitter, and not even 40 yet. He’s generally dated women  under 30. He said women in their 20′s are still able and interested in  learning and improving themselves. He thought he wanted to start looking  for a woman who is older, has a career, and more mature. But now he’s  starting to re-think that idea. I know this man, he’s a great guy, kind,  loving, generous, fun, handsome, charismatic, and patient. But he’s  smart enough to know when a woman is going to be high maintenance, who  enjoys beating him up.

When I first met Chris, my ex-fiance’ and still good friend, he  marveled that I didn’t beat him up and wasn’t angry and bitter, as he  said most women over 40 seemed to be. He just couldn’t get over it.

Ladies, if you’re reading this, can you see yourself in this young  man’s description of today’s “confident, capable, take-no-prisoners”  modern woman? There’s a reason why you’re single. It’s not that there  are no good men left. It’s that the good ones don’t want to go out with  an angry woman.

My calling in life is to teach women how to get back to enjoying  being a woman and being with a man. What’s going on today is scary. It  makes me sad that so many women and men are wanting to be in a relationship, but they don’t have a clue why it’s not working for them.

Any woman who is ready to quit wasting her time on the dating merry-go-round needs to understand the basic foundation of dating smart. So I wrote  Date Smart and Win His Heart, which is the workbook for Avoid The Bad  Boys. Get it now, before you go out on your next date.

There are plenty of good men out there but you’ve got to know how to  attract them. They’re running scared because most women they meet are  angry and don’t seem to even like men. If you can learn the art of Feminine Grace,  you’ll be shocked how men will stand in line for the chance to get to  know you. It’s not that difficult but you need to be willing to make the  changes that will not only make you more attractive but also make you  happier.

To learn all my Secrets about men, and how to use them go to MenMadeEasy.com.

And to discover if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince, or all three, download 3 free ebooks at KaraOh.com.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

He’s Wonderful… But

I often get requests for advice from women who tell me how wonderful their man is. Then they go into all the things that make them unhappy. If this sounds like you, I  would invited you to do an exercise that can be very revealing. On a  piece of paper draw a line down the middle from top to bottom. On the  left put the things about him that ARE wonderful and the things he does that make you happy. On the right  put the things that are NOT wonderful and make you unhappy.

NOTE: If you’ve been reading my articles, then you know that I firmly believe that NO ONE can MAKE you unhappy. Only you can do that by how you respond to situations and what others do. You can also make yourself happy, by how you look at life. A positive, grateful attitude and perspective will cause you to be happy.

When you do the above exercise, you can see in black  and white, a clearer picture of who a man is and if he is what you want. It is not your job to try to change a man’s character or personality. You can change surface things, like how he cuts his hair, whether or not he has a beard, or getting him to wear cowboy boots because you think they’re sexy. But just as you are responsible for your own happiness, you are NOT responsible for his.

On another note, you should never make excuses for his character. He’s either someone you trust, admire and respect, or he’s not. If not, ask yourself why you are with him? Dating is about discovering who a man is, not trying to create a relationship. Once you are clear that a man has all the qualities that you need in a partner, THEN you start forming a relationship.

If you want to become very clear about what kind of man you want, and at the same time, stop wasting your time on the wrong kind of man, you absolutely need to get Avoid The Bad Boys. It will open you eyes like nothing else can.

And if you want to discover if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, download my 3 free ebooks at KaraOh.com.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

Learning From Fuzzy Love

 

I think I understand where “warm-fuzzies” came from.

I am just finishing “Marley & Me” and each time I pick it up, I  cry deep, heartfelt tears. If you ever struggle with finding your daily  heart connection here’s a bit from John Grogan’s book: “Was it possible  for a dog––any dog, but especially a nutty, wildly uncontrollable one  like ours––to point humans to the things that really matter in life? I  believe it was. Loyalty. Courage. Devotion. Simplicity. Joy. And the  things that did not matter, too. A dog has no use for fancy cars or big  homes or designer clothes. Status symbols mean nothing to him. A water-logged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their  color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn’t care  if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give  him your heart and he will give you his.”

After writing about the death of Marley in his newspaper column Mr.  Grogan received over 800 emails responding with deeply touched hearts.  This one, from Elaine, touched my heart the most: “Such short little  lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting  for us to come home each day. It is amazing how much love and laughter  they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each  other because of them.”

If you are dating and searching for Ms. or Mr. Right, I recommend you borrow or rent a puppy.

Take it out where there will be lots of people, and watch how easily fears, insecurities and judgments just float away.

People will come up to you, smile, share their joy and connect their  hearts to yours, if only for those brief furry moments that you bask in  the pure, unadulterated sweetness of an innocent puppy.

You don’t even have to like animals to fall under the spell of a  puppy. But if you don’t like animals, you might want to take a look at  what that’s about. I suspect there’s a “Heart Condition” needing a  little T.L.C.

I teach twelve secrets about men that can help you finally be able to create a relationship based on true and enduring love. Learn how at MenMadeEasy.com.

Find out he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three at KaraOh.com.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

 

Your Positive Attitude Keeps Him Coming Back For More

I am a huge proponent of feeling all of your  emotions, fully and completely. That’s one of the many joys of being  human and female. BUT, there is an overarching emotion that runs your life. Are you positive or negative? Do you notice what’s good in your life, or do you put your emphasis on what’s not working?

How well your life works has to do with where you put your focus. This article came out of a conversation about  blamers and people whose habitual perspective is to see the world  through the filter of “The Cup Is Half Empty,” or “Look At What’s Wrong  With the World,” or “You Know What’s Really Sad?”, etc.

My personal  preference is to see “The Cup Is Overflowing.” And, in my life, that’s  exactly what I get. Not that icky things don’t happen. But even when  they do, I embrace them because that means I will learn a lesson, and  come out the other end a happier, wiser woman with even greater capacity  to love and be loved. I am living proof that this philosophy works.

Another piece of my personal philosophy is, “Everything that’s happening  is supposed to be happening, or it wouldn’t be happening.” It’s  my way  of accepting what is so I don’t get tossed around by life. We ALL make  choices every moment of every day. Our perspective is one of those many  choices and it will absolutely color EVERYTHING we see and interpret.

If you want to start experiencing more love in your life, you absolutely need to learn to use my 12 Secrets about men. You can order this essential relationship enhancing program at MenMadeEasy.com.

And if you want to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, you can order 3 free ebooks at KaraOh.com.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

 

Is the Perfect Partner Just a Fairy Tale?

Do you have a realistic idea of what you’re looking for in a partner, or is a fairy tale running the show? How often do you stop to consider exactly what you want and why? How conscious are you when it comes to looking for that “special someone”?

Are you aware of the power of setting goals? Any book or seminar on goal setting will tell you the importance of clear, concise goals. When you’re clear about what you want, the universal forces (or your unconscious) will assist you in manifesting exactly what you want, at just the right time.

Finding a life partner is not something we should do haphazardly, it’s too important. Most relationships don’t seem to last very long. We find ourselves attracted to someone, begin to get to know them, get physically involved, then find out we don’t want to be with that person. At that point a lot has been invested, emotionally, physically, and time wise, and it’s painful for one or both to part ways.

One way to avoid some of that heartache is to be very clear about what you’re looking for. Then don’t let your heart and hormones take over for your brain.

So, here’s a recipe for manifesting your perfect partner.

First, write down the things that you’re generally attracted to–when you first see someone as well as when you first talk. Be honest here. If you like cowboy boots, write it down. Set this list aside to look at when you’re all done.

The next step is to sit quietly, with no possibility of interruptions, and close your eyes. Calm your mind then ask yourself, “What do I want?”  This isn’t about what traits or qualities you’re looking for yet. It’s about what exactly do you want? Do you really want a partner? Or just someone to hang out with. If you want a partner, is that for marriage, or just a long-term, committed dating situation? It’s important to get clear about this so you can move on to the next step. You may be surprised at your answer if you allow yourself to be truthful. Now, with that in mind, what qualities and traits do you want this person to have? Let your list grow freely and don’t judge your answers. Dream big, be silly, write everything down. If you’re looking for marriage, your list will probably be longer than if you’re looking for someone to hang out with. When you can’t think of any more, keep writing. Fill the page. I have fifty-nine items on my list. One of them is well-manicured hands and feet. Silly? Maybe, but it’s important to me. Just keep writing.

After you feel you really have completed your list, go through and pick the things that absolutely must be in place when you meet this person. An example would be integrity. That’s something that, generally, as an adult, a person already has, or not. My list had eight items. This is the list you carry around with you. Give a copy to a trusted friend. If any of these things are missing, you must say good-bye to any new person you meet. If you don’t, you’re not being true to yourself and you’ll pay for it later.

Then, go back to the long list and find the items that you must have, but could come later. I happen to want a world traveler. I could probably teach someone the joys of traveling the world later on. This is not about changing someone, however. No home improvement projects allowed. Get these lists out frequently so you can remind yourself that you’re looking for more than just a pretty face. Stay in touch with your friend who has the “must have” list. Be honest with them about whether or not the new person you’re dating has these qualities and traits. If not, say good-bye and keep searching. Use your friend as support. If you’re clear and firm about this, you won’t waste time and you’ll manifest your perfect partner much sooner.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

 

He’s Gone But You Want Him Back

Are you still wishing you could get back with him?

Women write to me–especially after reading Men Made Easy and seeing all the things they did that pushed him away–wanting to know how they can win him back. I do understand their desire to “have another chance” to prove they’re different, but if you don’t have contact, there’s nothing you can do to show him you’ve learned the mistakes you made.

If you can’t stop thinking about him, can’t stop wishing you could have that second chance, and can’t stop thinking about ‘what could have been,’ you need to take charge of those thoughts. Otherwise, your thoughts are controlling you. To do that, you have to find something to replace those thoughts with. To do that, make a list of all the things that you wanted, but he didn’t give you. Now, make a list of what you DO want when the next, better man shows up. Then, when those thoughts jump in take over, notice it, then replace those old thoughts with the thoughts of how great it will be when you meet the man who will give you want. At the very least, you should be with a man who is thrilled to have you in his life. 

When a man cuts all contact with you, it’s more important that you admit it’s over, and begin to take care of yourself. I would recommend you do some kind of ritual. Maybe write down what you gained from being with him, what you learned, and what you want that he couldn’t give you. Then say a kind of prayer asking your spirit to be set free of this man so you can find someone who is excited to be with you. You can burn it or cut it into tiny pieces and let the wind take ithttp://www.alivewithlove.com.whatever feels right. It’s time to move on. 

If you want to discover the mistakes that push a man away, get your copy of Men Made Easy right now and learn the Secrets to a man’s heart.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

Why Do Women Have To Do All The Work?

Here’s a question I got today after I was interviewed on Allyson Spellman’s radio show. I thought it would be good to share our back and forth communication here:

Hi Kara, I just listened to your radio show. Playing devil’s advocate here -

There is so much info about there about what a woman should(n’t) do in a relationship. To me it amounts to treating a man with kid gloves. In your opinion, how can we as women ever hope to be ourselves and fulfill our purpose if we have to be so concerned about a man’s take on things? My thinking is if a woman has to do that, then what encourages him to be responsible, to value the woman in his life, and be a man rather than just male?

Please know I mean no disrespect in any way. I’m just seeking an honest opinion from the expert

Thanks, June

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hi June, This is a good and fair questionhttp://www.alivewithlove.com. and one I get a lot. If we wait for men to step up and be responsible, we will become very dissatisfied. We care more than they do about the quality of the relationship. They are pretty content with the bare essentials.

We are also capable and willing to do more so if we want it better, we need to set the standard by doing what is required to ‘inspire’ the man to step up and cherish us, make us happy, be our man. Otherwise, it’s a whole lot more work than it’s worth.

95% of all self-help books are purchased by women. Does that tell you anything? The just don’t get that worked up about “what isn’t broke.”

And understanding how to bring the best out in a man is kind of fun to put into action.

I hope that helps, Kara

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hi Kara, Appreciate your response. I have a good friend that is more like a sister to me. She has been married for quite some time, but her husband treats her like he could care less at times. He’s very selfish and she has resigned herself to that’s just how things are going to be in the marriage. I pray for her, get upset with her for putting up with him, etc etc. She could definitely be happier.

Take care, June

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hi again, Some men are not worth the effort and some just go trained wrong. On the radio show I think I mentioned how when women get comfy that they are now a couple, go into nurturing. The Feminine is about receiving and anything she gives to him should be in appreciation for what he has done for her. He gets to be the man, doesn’t get lazy, she gets to enjoy receiving, feel like a woman, keeps the romance flowinghttp://www.alivewithlove.com. win/win. Tough to change that around when he has gotten lazy. Usually it takes a HUGE wake-up call and many women just don’t have the energy so the settle. Very sad. Women should not tolerate bad behavior. The moment we do, we lose ground because men admit they will take the easiest path.

Thanks for writing, Kara

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I hope this will help inspire you to do what is necessary to get the man to “rise and shine” for you. Most men will admit they need a bit of polish. To learn more about how to get more of what you want, Men Made Easy (if you’ve got a man in your life) and From Flirting To Forever (if you’re still looking.)