Is the Perfect Partner Just a Fairy Tale?

September 3, 2010 by Kara Oh
Filed under All About Dating, All About Romance

Is the Perfect Partner Just a Fairy Tale? by Kara Oh Do you have a realistic idea of what you’re looking for in a partner, or is a fairy tale running the show? How often do you stop to consider exactly what you want and why? How conscious are you when it comes to looking for that “special someone”?

Are you aware of the power of setting goals? Any book or seminar on goal setting will tell you the importance of clear, concise goals. When you’re clear about what you want, the universal forces (or your unconscious) will assist you in manifesting exactly what you want, at just the right time.

Finding a life partner is not something we should do haphazardly, it’s too important. Most relationships don’t seem to last very long. We find ourselves attracted to someone, begin to get to know them, get physically involved, then find out we don’t want to be with that person. At that point a lot has been invested, emotionally, physically, and time wise, and it’s painful for one or both to part ways.

One way to avoid some of that heartache is to be very clear about what you’re looking for. Then don’t let your heart and hormones take over for your brain.

So, here’s a recipe for manifesting your perfect partner.

First, write down the things that you’re generally attracted to–when you first see someone as well as when you first talk. Be honest here. If you like cowboy boots, write it down. Set this list aside to look at when you’re all done.

The next step is to sit quietly, with no possibility of interruptions, and close your eyes. Calm your mind then ask yourself, “What do I want?” This isn’t about what traits or qualities you’re looking for yet. It’s about what exactly do you want? Do you really want a partner? Or just someone to hang out with. If you want a partner, is that for marriage, or just a long-term, committed dating situation? It’s important to get clear about this so you can move on to the next step. You may be surprised at your answer if you allow yourself to be truthful. Now, with that in mind, what qualities and traits do you want this person to have? Let your list grow freely and don’t judge your answers. Dream big, be silly, write everything down. If you’re looking for marriage, your list will probably be longer than if you’re looking for someone to hang out with. When you can’t think of any more, keep writing. Fill the page. I have fifty-nine items on my list. One of them is well-manicured hands and feet. Silly? Maybe, but it’s important to me. Just keep writing.

After you feel you really have completed your list, go through and pick the things that absolutely must be in place when you meet this person. An example would be integrity. That’s something that, generally, as an adult, a person already has, or not. My list had eight items. This is the list you carry around with you. Give a copy to a trusted friend. If any of these things are missing, you must say good-bye to any new person you meet. If you don’t, you’re not being true to yourself and you’ll pay for it later.

Then, go back to the long list and find the items that you must have, but could come later. I happen to want a world traveler. I could probably teach someone the joys of traveling the world later on. This is not about changing someone, however. No home improvement projects allowed. Get these lists out frequently so you can remind yourself that you’re looking for more than just a pretty face. Stay in touch with your friend who has the “must have” list. Be honest with them about whether or not the new person you’re dating has these qualities and traits. If not, say good-bye and keep searching. Use your friend as support. If you’re clear and firm about this, you won’t waste time and you’ll manifest your perfect partner much sooner.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

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Tags: Dating Advice, Feminine Grace, Finding Love

How to Get a Man to Share His Feelings

August 31, 2010 by Kara Oh
Filed under All About Men

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Tags: Feminine Grace, Men Made Easy, relationships, understanding men

Do You Know How Beautiful You Are?

August 30, 2010 by Kara Oh
Filed under All About You

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Do you know how beautiful you already are?

You can be the ultimate woman; empowered, graceful, confident and filled with the magic of womanhood. What is your own version of your ideal self? Do you even know, and if you do, do you believe you can become it? If your desire is strong enough, you can become the woman of your dreams.

Being a woman, especially at this time in history, is exciting. You have so many doors open to you, so many choices. You can be coy and feminine, strong and smart, emotional and vulnerable and at the same time, respected for your achievements in most any field you desire. We’re still working on that equal pay thing, but it’s slowing coming.

One of the most enjoyable benefits of being female is the ability and permission to be beautiful and enjoy beautiful things. This section is all about beauty, confidence and happiness. Without happiness it doesn’t matter how naturally beautiful you are or how much money you have to spend on your appearance. Happiness and the glow of joy is the great equalizer. Become more happy and you will automatically become more beautiful.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

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Tags: Feminine Grace, Personal Development

A Quick Guide For Women

August 27, 2010 by Kara Oh
Filed under Feminine Grace

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If you truly want a better relationship with more love, romance and respct, you need to know the secrets about men that I reveal in my book, Men Made Easy. Available in paperback or instantly downloadable in e-book, you will be invited into his private world. And that is when you’ll finally get what your heart desires.

This quick guide is designed to help women tap into their feminine grace and understand how to be a true partner to their man.

Men need to feel successful, so-much-so that, to a man, failure is almost unbearable. For them, if they fail, they no longer feel like men. It’s why most men commit suicide, which they do more often than women.
Men are most attracted to happy women who genuinely like themselves and who enjoy being women. When you’re happy, he feels successful. When you’re a bottomless pit who never seems pleased by anything he does, he finally gets worn out and leaves.
Men hate it when a woman tries to change them. What it tells them is that they’re not okay the way they are. That makes them feel attacked, which makes them put up defenses against those attackshttp://www.alivewithlove.com.against you. A defended man cannot love a woman the way she wants. You can help him dismantle those defenses and once again open his heart to loving youhttp://www.alivewithlove.com.like in the beginning of your relationship when he thought you were the most wonderful woman on the planet.
Since they were boys, men have been taught not to feel. “Pick yourself up, don’t cry, be a man.” Those messages were taken to heart and as men, the only person they feel at all comfortable being intimate with, sharing at least a little of what’s going on inside of them, is their wife. He’ll begin to share things he may have never told you before, no matter how long you’ve been married. You really are his only source of intimacy.
When you get engaged it’s the beginning of a fantasy-come-true. But he didn’t pretend wedding when he was a boy, he doesn’t buy “Groom” magazine and plan his wedding. For him, it’s very much a financial decision and a willingness to take on some very big responsibilities. When you understand what he’s going through, he’ll see how unique and special you really are. He won’t want to risk losing you.

I want to help you take charge and begin to be the happy, magnificent woman you were put on this planet to be. If you’re interested in joining me, the first step is to read Men Made Easy because that is the foundation of everything I teach, and where I introduce the concept of Feminine Grace. And you can join my support group where other women, just like you, are struggling with the very same issues you are.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

Tags: Dating Advice, Feminine Grace, Marriage Advice, Men Made Easy, understanding men

It Takes So Little to Please Most Men

August 19, 2010 by Kara Oh
Filed under All About Men

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“Men need a safe environment in which to express a fuller range of emotions. In our culture today, we, their romantic partners, are the only outlet for that expression.” Men Made Easy

A loose and probably less-than-scientific poll––but significant all the same, because real men responded––was taken by the Fashion Police, a column featured in the Los Angeles Times Life & Style section.

red pumps Are you ready for something you already knew? Men, across the line, not only prefer, but absolutely, totally, inexplicably, LOVE women in pumps. And why not; we look beautiful, feminine, and sexy in them. And they hate big, fat, chunky shoes. I have to agree. Thank goodness shoes have become feminine once again. We look not only unfeminine in them, we look dumb. Yes, high heels hurt our feet, but once in a whilehttp://www.alivewithlove.com.for him?

The difficulty is getting our men to take us out so we can wear those pumps. Maybe that’s the key. “Hey, honey, will you take me dancing? I’ll wear those sexy high heels you love.” Another idea, maybe you don’t need to leave the bedroom.

What else do men go crazy for? Well, a lot of men like nail polish. But don’t let the nails get too long. They especially like polished toenails. Nail polish can turn ordinary feet into something sexy and beautiful. Notice how your feet look without nail polish. They’re just feet, right? Then look how feminine they become with some hot red polish. You’ve got to admit they’re prettier.

Any time you do something to look sexy for a man he’ll like it. It means you’re interested. And they definitely like that.

It Takes So Little to Please a Man by Men Made Easy Author Kara Oh Of course there’s the garter belt thing. And how you take off a pair of stockings. Be the vamp that knows how to turn your man into putty. It’s an exhilarating experience. And it makes you feel gorgeous.

It’s interesting and kind of sad, but women often turn up their noses when I tell them about these sexy little things that men like. When I ask them if they’ve ever tried it, they’re the same ones who usually say no. Somehow it seems they think pleasing their husband or boyfriend in those ways is demeaning. Or maybe they don’t want to think their man has those kinds of desires.

When two people love each other, and no one will be harmed, why not give them whatever pleasure you can? It will keep him interested and wanting to please you, to do things to make you happy, to be your hero.

Does he do things for you? How does it feel when he does? Especially those thoughtful little things that show he’s sensitive to what you like. It goes both ways.Maybe he doesn’t do things for you. Maybe years ago, when you lost interest in sex and he had to demean himself to beg for it, he quit thinking of you as the women he adored. Or maybe you’re both deliriously happy with each other and things are off the charts. There’s still no reason why you can’t be imaginative and try new things.

In my book, Men Made Easy, I explain that the only way most men know how to be intimate is through sex. It is the one socially acceptable way for men to express their love. If you can go the extra mile and titillate him, you’re giving him the opportunity to show his love more often. So, get out those pumps and show that man of yours a really good time. –Show this article to your husband or boyfriend and ask him what he thinks. Then contact and tell me what he said.

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Tags: Feminine Grace, Men Made Easy, sexy talk, understanding men

How Do You Know When He Really Loves You?

August 18, 2010 by Kara Oh
Filed under All About Men

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Your primary sense of self is through your relationships–as a mother, a friend, and a wife and lover; his is his success as a man.” Men Made Easy

How Do You Know When He Really Loves You? by Kara Oh Everyone has their own best way of expressing and experiencing love. Men are often uncomfortable with strong emotions, partly because they have been conditioned to avoid them. Men can fall pretty hard when they do allow themselves to love, and that often scares them. Some even say they feel they will lose themselves if they love too freely. So, often they keep themselves under control.

Your partner may have a way of expressing love to you which is too subtle for you to notice. Or, maybe it’s in a form that you don’t automatically respond to because it’s not your best way to receive love. Most people give love in the way they would like to receive it. And they way people learn to give and receive love has a lot do to with how they learned it in their families. If you were held a lot but never were told with words that you were loved, then you probably need touching more than the words “I love you.” He’s the same way.

So, in order to better receive his love, when you know your man is feeling particularly comfortable with you, ask him: “When you’re experiencing the strongest feelings of love for me, in what way do you usually express it?”

You may be surprised to find that he’s been expressing his love all along but in ways that you were not equipped to notice. Knowing that it is more difficult for men to express these feelings, and less easy for them to change, learn to receive his love with a newfound openness. As he’s speaking, listen without comment. The quieter you are, the safer he’ll feel expressing himself. Remember that this may be new territory for him. After he’s done talking, don’t comment in any “editorial” way. Let him know you appreciate what he said by snuggling with him.

At another time ask him how he’d most like to receive your love, then ask if he would like to hear your answer to those questions. You’ll both gain new clarity about an often fuzzy subject.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

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Tags: Feminine Grace, Men Made Easy, Saying I Love You

Stop Looking For Instant Love!

August 12, 2010 by Kara Oh
Filed under All About Men

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A woman wrote to me asking me how she could get a man to fall in love with her. This is a man she barely knows. This kind of thinking really scares me. It’s fine to meet a man and be attracted and intrigued, but to move from “Nice to meet you,” immediately to “Choose me, love me, marry me,” is a recipe for disaster. Almost everyone we meet doesn’t work out, no matter how strong the attraction is.

When you barely know a man, it’s important to keep your rational mind in gear. And don’t forget to use the brakes!

If this is something you tend to do I recommend you take a look at how unhealthy this thinking is. Step back and look at the bigger picture. HE IS A STRANGER. How can you want a total stranger to fall in love with you or want to marry you? It should take months of getting acquainted to get to that point. Yes, there are those rare couples who met and immediately knew and stay happily married forever. But it’s rare.

Unfortunately, romance novels and romantic movies perpetuate this idea that love is instant and everything can be put together with a great big bow tied on it in 90 minutes. That’s not how life works.

Making mental plans for the future with a total stranger is the kind of thinking that gets women in trouble. You get emotionally invested WAY too soon and then when it doesn’t work out, which most beginnings don’t, you have to go through the heartbreakhttp://www.alivewithlove.com.over a stranger. You need to be careful of your heart. It’s a precious thing to give your heart to another. Don’t hand it over so easily. Be cautious, careful and thoughtful. And you’re less likely to chase a man off because you become needy and clingy. No one can protect your heart except you.

So now that you have stepped back, with the intention of taking it slow, one step at a time instead of jumping off the cliff, unaware if there are rocks beneath the surface, here are some tips on how to get a man to fall for you. To begin with, if you follow the Secrets in Men Made Easy you will be different than any woman he’s ever met. Here’s why.

Men Made Easy will teach you why men fall for you because you’ve learned that the following behavior will cause a man to be excited to know you better, win his heart, and cause him to fall in love with you:. You need to develop your Feminine Grace, which includes the following:

Be beautiful in how you are.
Be happy, cheerful and positive.
Don’t complain about anything that happened in your past or what is going on currently. Complaining, about anything, is always ‘ugly.’
Don’t lose control of your emotions.
Remind him regularly what you appreciate about him.
Let him take care of you, to be your hero. Always thank him and let him know how happy he makes you for how he takes care of you.
Don’t have sex until you have a conversation where you BOTH agree to be exclusing, not dating or having sex with anyone else. If you do, you’ll probably destroy his interest, plus, you will feel bad for having sex with a stranger who doesn’t want to see you again.
Don’t try to figure out if he’s going to hurt you some day. Just get to know him, who he is, how he looks at life, how fun he is, how considerate and respectful, etc. Basically, don’t “interview” him for the job of your boyfriend.
Remember that he wants to be with a woman who makes him feel good and who is enjoyable to be with.

You may think this is a lot of work on your part. But look at each item on that list and notice how it will make you feel to behave that way. Everything I teach is about how you can be happierhttp://www.alivewithlove.com.with you, your life and with a man. The goal in understanding men is so you can know what will cause him to fall in love with you, to cherish you and never want to risk losing you. But you have to do your part to make that a reality. You lead and he will follow. Demanding any of that will only chase him away. You’ll learn how to create an amazing relationship when you embrace your Feminine Grace and use the Secrets about men to create the love you crave.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

Tags: Dating Advice, Feminine Grace, Men Made Easy, understanding men

Why Do Men Fall – And Stay – In Love?

July 16, 2010 by Kara Oh
Filed under All About Men

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Men are attracted to beautiful women. We all know that. But what you might not know is that a man who is looking for “The One” needs her to be beautiful in more ways than simply what’s on the outside. Sure, he needs to be attracted to your appearance but what enables him to stay interested is a woman’s inner beauty.

I spent 2 years interviewing men for my book, Men Made Easy, and in every interview I always asked what qualities were most attractive in a woman. Once we got past the jokes about body parts, they said what really keeps their interest is a woman who’s happy, has a positive outlook, is funny (or at least think he’s funny), is confident, poised, feminine, and simply enjoys life.

Maybe you think you already are all those things, but are you a genuinely happy woman? I used to think I was, but my dedication to personal growth has expanded my capacity to be happier than I would have ever thought possible.

Do you have a positive outlook? Not sure? Pay attention to how often you complain or gossip contrasted with how often you find yourself feeling grateful. How often do you feel tired and irritable compared to how often you want to sing and dance? How easily do you laugh and how playful are you?

Are you self-confident? Poised? Are you respectful of others, appreciative, complimentary, kind, and generous? As a woman develops her Feminine Grace, she naturally exudes the qualities that are most attractive to men. And, in case that word bothers you, feminine simply means you enjoy being a woman.

If you start paying attention to how happy you are and what keeps you from being so, you can begin to create more joy. The more joy you exude, the more attractive you become to men and everyone else around you. You end up beating out the competition. With Men Made Easy you can begin to discover for yourself how much more positive attention you can enjoy from men who previously hadn’t even noticed you.

From my heart to yours,

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Tags: Feminine Grace, joy, Men Made Easy

Tricks For Dealing With Unpleasant People

January 6, 2010 by Kara Oh
Filed under Feminine Grace

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When I am required to interact with someone who is unpleasant in any way, here are some tricks I use to get through it:

1) I add a bit of inner humor by assuming their hemorrhoids are acting up. We aren’t as likely to get triggered if we’re enjoying a private joke.

2) I imagine a bubble of light around me that nothing unpleasant can penetrate. I always think of Maxwell Smart and his Cone of Silence, which again, adds that element of humor.

3) I remember that their negative behavior is the outer expression of inner pain and a cry for love.

4) #3 then allows me to imagine my heart energy extending out to their heart. They don’t know it’s going on, but I’m always amazed that it does sometimes shift their behavior. And when it doesn’t if shifts my energy to a calmer place.

5) If I do get triggered, I assume it’s A.F.L.E. and after I’ve settled down, get to work to find out what I’m supposed to learn about myself so I don’t get triggered next time.

6) Take conscious, deep breathes. It is impossible to hold stress in our bodies or even stay upset, in the moment we are taking a deep breath. We very well might go right back to being stressed or upset, but a moment of reprieve is a moment worth savoring.

From my heart to yours,
Kara Oh
The Heart Whisperer™

For more articles on love and romantic relationships please visit Kara Oh at Alive With Love here.

Tags: communication, Feminine Grace, people skills, personal empowerment

Are You Putting Your Life Off For Later?

January 6, 2010 by Kara Oh
Filed under Feminine Grace

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Life is about living. In what ways are you putting off the “E Tickets” of life?

So much of what we focus on is about tomorrow. Yes, it’s good to plan and have our security in place. Set goals and get those ducks lined up. But what I notice is that we spend so much time planning, doing, and worrying that we end up missing out on the “Now.”

Now is where everything happens. Now is where we feel love, joy, pain, growth, ecstasy, tendernesshttp://www.alivewithlove.com.all those things that make us oh so human. Now is where we look into someone’s eyes and see our reflection in their eyes. Now is all we have.

Be inspired to find the Now at least once each day. It’s there, waiting to be discovered. Feel it, embrace it, savor it because it is yours for the taking, whenever you have a moment to look up and notice it.

From my heart to yours,
Kara Oh
The Heart Whisperer™

Become The Woman You
Were Meant To Be

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Tags: Feminine Grace, Inner Beauty, Inner Strength, Personal Development, Personal Growth, Spiritual

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The Single Most Important Skill You'll Need

If you've ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it's the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That's because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is... the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I'll teach you how to use it in Men Made Easy!.

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Lip Smackin Love

Better Sex!

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