When a Man Needs Space

What is a woman supposed to think when a man says he needs space?

Men are pretty straight-forward. It probably means he needs to retreat and regroup himself, which is another way of saying he needs to get by himself and think. Beyond, that stop torturing yourself wondering what’s going on. He’ll let you know in due time.

Your job is to learn to focus on your own life, learn to take things in stride, and learn to take responsibility to your reaction to what happens in your life, so you can choose to be happy more of the time.

Women write to me every day, asking what a man means by something he said or did. Women make themselves crazy trying to figure men out. The best thing to do is get busy enjoying your life, and he’ll let you know what he wants and needs from you when he’s ready. If a man is into you, he’ll contact you and want to be with you. If he isn’t, he won’t, or he’ll make up an excuse about how busy his life is. There are two reasons, and only two, why a man will not pursue a relationship with a woman.

1. You’re not the right one.
2. It’s not the right time.

That covers all possibilities.

If a man is focused on his work because he isn’t where he wants to be in his career or in his finances, and you’re the right one, he’ll pass because the timing is off. Men are very simple. That’s why I chose the title of my most popular book, “Men Made Easy.”

I want women to learn to be happy, which is our primary job as humans. So you must take charge of your own happiness. I talk to women all the time who want to know WHY a man does or says what he does. When you do that, you are going to work yourself into a tizzy because you’re only guessing.

Fretting over something you have no control over is handing your happiness over to that person. This is a HUGE lesson that few people learn. You have a choice. I hope you make a good one.

To help you understand men better, I’ve made three ebooks available to you for free. You can download them at KaraOh.com.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

The Luxury of Love

Many of our reactions to each other, what attracts us and drives us to want to be with someone of the opposite sex is deeply embedded in our biology and has to do with survival over the eons of time. But today, because survival is not the motivating factor in our lives, we are blessed with the opportunity to fall in love, to pleasure each other with romantic gestures and to want a love that endures and deepens over time.

When survival was the motivating factor in a couple marrying and creating a family, there weren’t the complications of dating. Even today, many cultures still have arranged marriages where the most important factors are political, economic and whether or not the woman seems to have baby-making potential. But in many cultures, like here in the U.S., it’s a lot of work to find someone with whom there is a mutual attraction and even more work to keep that love and attraction alive over time. One thing that can really help people have greater success is to know each other better. It is estimated that 83% of divorces could be prevented if couples asked each other the right questions. For a list of the most important questions to ask, click here.

Most of our role models for modern relationships are from movies and television. With divorce, kids don’t have any kind of roll model of how it might be to have a home with loving parents. So we are making it up as we go, and it’s pretty obvious that we’re not doing a very good job. One of the best ways to stay “in love” is to create triggers that help us let go of the petty grievances and stay focused on the qualities that attracted us in the first place.

During some quiet time, write a description of the man you fell in love with. Focus on the things that you most admire, the things that made you tingle at the thought of him, the things you did together, and the things he did to you. Bring back the feelings you had when you were falling in love with him and you couldn’t keep your mind off of him. Unless he’s changed and is mistreating you, you can re-ignite those feelings of love. Think of the strongest trigger for you and lock that in as the thing that you will think about when you begin to get angry or frustrated at him, especially when it’s over petty things. I always think about how my husband looked during our wedding ceremony. Melts my heart every time.

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship or a perfect man or woman. But there is such a thing as love and it doesn’t have to die. But like any fire, if it doesn’t get tended, watched over, given more fuel to burn, it will go out. Love isn’t that easy to come by, especially love so strong that we actually want to marry someone. So how sad, when that love dies, especially if it is mostly because the relationship became less important than the job, the house, the social life, the shopping. Without love, life is lacking, like hearing a favorite love song, and having no one to ask to dance.

So make that list. Feel the feelings of love as you remember in vivid color, feel the emotions, and enjoy reliving the beginning of your love. Then share your best memories with your partner. Better yet, ask him to make a list of his own, then, on a special date or weekend away, share your memories. And don’t be surprised that you have new memories to share.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

When An Ex Wants To Be Just Friends

p>What do you do when an ex wants to get back together, but you think it might be just as friends, and you still have feelings for him? This is a dangerous thing to do because it will keep you stuck in heartache.

When you still have feelings and get back together as a couple, it is too painful to have him near, but basically unavailable. Plus, when he’s wanting to be just friends, he’s going to date and want to tell you about it.

If you spend time as “just friends” when you heart is aching to be with him, you’re being a doormat, allowing him to use you to get some of his needs met, while you ignore your own needs.

This is a good time for you to speak up and set your boundaries. This is not easy when you’re hoping he’s interested in more than just friendship. But if you don’t say anything, and attempt to get together, you’ll be dishonoring yourself. Tell him you still have feelings so you can’t be just friends. Then stick to what you know is best for you in the long run.

One of the most important things I teach in Men Made Easy is how to develop your Feminine Grace. Part of that is learning to fall in love with yourself, learning to honor yourself and not settle for less than you deserve. Getting back with an ex who hasn’t made it clear he wants to be a couple is not how you take care of your own needs. That has to come first. Too many women ignore their own needs when it come to men. Don’t let that happen to you.

From my heart to yours,