Is He Killing Your Spirit?

Okay, here’s how my thinking rolled along, ending up with the above title, knowing I had something helpful to share with you…

I’m sitting out here on my patio, looking at my beautiful view, listening to John Legend’s “So High,” sent to me by Stephen, my CO (Chosen One) in a text. (Check out the heart-melting lyrics by listening to the video below.)

Stephen is just ten feet away, working on his computer, enjoying the music with me. I think to myself, “It’s so nice to be sharing the enjoyment of this music, this day, this beautiful place we live in with Stephen.”

I then think about how it felt to be with my ex-boyfriend and how we had so little in common. I contrast how it feels now to be with Stephen, compared to how it felt to be with my ex– lovely man that he is.

Conclusion? I can feel how my spirit was literally dying.

Okay, so that’s how I decided to write about how being with the wrong man can kill your spirit. For starters, the question in the title really should be, How Are You Killing Your Spirit? That’s because we kill our own spirit by staying with the wrong man, for too long.

We can say “they” killed it, but only we have control of our thinking, our emotions and our reaction to the influence of others.

• Our spirit dies a little every time we acquiesce to his needs.

• Our spirit dies a little every time we make love when we’re feeling disconnected from him.

• Our spirit dies a little every time we hang out with him when you would rather be with your girlfriends.

• Our spirit dies a little every time we allow him to be even the tiniest bit disrespectful.

It’s one thing to be in a less than satisfying relationship in order to learn the lessons that are there for you. But when you go beyond that time, when you go into a state of ‘enduring,’ your spirit will die.

Enduring, settling, keeping the peace, fear of hurting his feelings… If you stay longer than you know you should–and you do know already–then you are allowing your spirit to die. Please, please heed this message and leave if this is happening to you.

You are too precious to live this way. Your life is a grand gift that should be honored. The best way I know of to honor your life and your spirit is to be as happy as you can be, filled with love.

I want you to be happy, to celebrate that you are a magnificent woman, a gift to the right man…a man who will cherish and adore you and treat you like a queen.

To understand men, you can start with my 3 free ebooks, which describe men as Caveman, Dog and Prince. Fun and enlightening. You can get them at KaraOh.com.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

There Was Chemistry. What Happened?

A woman wrote to me explaining that she’d been on a few dates and thought it was going great. Fun conversations, good time, kissing and a bit of petting, but no sex yet. She definitely felt strong chemistry. Then, wham, he wrote and said he wasn’t that attracted to her.

My advice:

I know it feels awful. But the other side of the hurt is, “Thank goodness you didn’t get more deeply involved.” If he isn’t attracted enough, or just wanted sex, then it’s good that he showed his true colors early on. But the fact that you attracted him should tell you that your energy is attractive. That always feels great. Focus on the fact that this was just a stepping stone to the right man.

Get out some of your favorite music and dance. You’ll for sure feel better!

If you want to learn the Secrets about men that will help you attract a great guy, check out Men Made Easyright now. You need to know what’s going on in that head of his.

And if you want to figure out if a man is a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, you’ll want to get my three free ebooks at KaraOh.com.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

3 Ways To Get Over a Man

When you want a man who isn’t available or isn’t interested, it’s easy to stay emotionally stuck. Instead of sitting around and feeling bad that you love someone you can’t have, you have to take charge of your life. You are, by the way, in charge of your life. And that means your emotional state of being. It feels like our mind is in charge, but we can do things to change our attitude.

Here are 3 really effective ways to get over a man:

1. Start dating a new man. There’s nothing that works better than getting involved with a new man. It feels good to have a man show interest in us, it switches our focus to the new man, and away from the other one, and we go on dates, getting us out of the house. And who knows, maybe you’ll fall in love and this will be the perfect man for you.
2. Take classes. Have you always wanted to learn salsa dancing? Dancing classes are great because you’ll meet men there. Or maybe you’ve been meaning to get back to painting, or always thought you would like to take singing or acting lessons. The great thing about taking a class is you’ll meet new people, even girlfriends, and start being more active.
3. Offer your time and skills to a charity organization. Giving to others, making a positive difference in other people’s lives, meeting like-minded peoplehttp://www.alivewithlove.com.all great ways to stop focusing on ‘him’ and start focusing on help others. Plus, as with the other suggestions, you are getting out, socializing, and meeting new people.

Almost always, when we are stuck thinking about something or someone that makes us feel bad, we’re spending too much time at home, moping around. You have to get busy, get out and be with other people.

Do you think men are Cavemen, Dogs, Princes or all three? Get my 3 free ebooks and find out at KaraOh.com

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

How to Be Happy After It Is Over

When it feels like your heart is going to break because your relationship is over, or you feel lonely and afraid you will never find love or happiness, here’s some advice that will help you develop the ‘habit of being happy’. To do so will be better for you, but another benefit is that you will be more attractive to every man you meet when you’re happy.

I think one of the things that has helped me develop the habit of being happy the most is to develop rapport with trust. As I’ve learned to trust that “everything that is happening is supposed to be happening, or it wouldn’t be happening,” and trust “everything will unfold in it’s own time, in own way,” and that “it’s all perfect,” I’ve gotten better and better at not letting the disappointments get me down.

This is counter to how most people live. What I’ve observed from coaching people over the years is that, more often than not, most people focus on what they don’t have, or wanting things to happen “NOW,” or trying to force things to happen and when they fail to do so, they stress about it.

In a way, what you think about most of the time is actually felt at a cellular level, whether it’s happiness, sadness, negativity, or anger. What I mean is, your entire body is triggered by your thoughts. It’s your thoughts that make you feel bad and keep you stuck in the negative thinking loop. And if you stay in a particular frame of mind, your body begins to take on the ‘feelings’ associated with that thinking. Thus, it becomes your natural state of being.

So you must change your body at that same cellular level. To do that, do a twenty minute meditation every day, preferably twice a day, and focus on the mantra below. But you have to feel it in your body for it to create the changes I’m talking about. It will take some time, but it does work if you are willing to do it. If you think you don’t have the time, then think about how much time you waste thinking about the things that upset you and make you sad. And, if you aren’t willing to do this, it means one of two things: 1) you don’t really want to change, 2) you don’t love yourself enough to know you deserve to be happy.

Here is the mantra for you to think about as you meditate:

• I trust everything that is happening is supposed to be happening, or it wouldn’t be happening.
• I trust everything will unfold in it’s own time, in own way.
• I trust that it’s all perfect.

Here’s the MP3 meditation that you can download into your MP3 player: Download here.

Use the one where I guide you, then, once you get comfortable relaxing in this way, you can use just the music.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

How To Get Over a Breakup

When we’re in the throes of heartbreak, whether from a break up–or because something awful happened to us or a loved one–there are a series of things you can do to get through it more quickly. But before I give you the steps you can take, you will benefit by understanding that your thoughts are what cause you to feel bad. Your thoughts about how hurt you are, how abandoned you feel, how angry, how resentfulhttp://www.alivewithlove.com.all those thoughts are felt in your body, which is where you feel the pain of emotions.

Yes, most of our thoughts arrive unbidden. They just march in and take over. But when you notice that they have arrived, you can send them away. But to do so successfully, you must actually replace them with other thoughts, thoughts of your choosing. I’ll explain how to do that below.

1. First, it’s important that you feel all your feelings as fully as possible. To deny our feelings only pushes them beneath the surface. They’re still there and the concern is that they will either squish out in some surprising way, like over-reacting to something or someone, or they fester inside and cause us physical harm in the form of simple stress, an ulcers, heart problems to even cancer.

So feel it all. Cry, scream, beat on a pillow. Whatever will be a good outlet for all that you’re feeling. And talk to only a couple of trusted friends or relatives. Tell them to let you know when you’re wearing them out and to stop you from going on and on. But do talk. It’s important. I remember a workshop leader saying once, “I kept telling the story of my divorce until even I got tired of hearing it.” But don’t tell just anyone who will listen. That will keep you in your emotional stew.

2. Next, write about it. Even if you don’t ordinarily journal, if you do this, you’ll discover how cleansing it feels. Write about EVERYTHING. The good feelings, the bad, and the ugly. No one will see this so write and write and write until you have nothing more to say. Then, do a ritual and burn it or cut it into tiny little pieces and throw it away. As you do so, release it from your being, letting it go, fully and completely.

3. One thing that causes us to get stuck in painful emotions is that we don’t know how to make peace with them. One of the best ways I’ve found to do this is to discover what there is to be grateful for. If this person died, instead of leaving you, this would be an easier process. But it can be done, no matter the circumstances of the breakup. So, on a piece of paper, write all the things you’re grateful for, all the things that enriched your life from being with this person. Then, thank them. Not in person, but silently to yourself.

4. Take a look at the problems that were part of this relationship. No relationship is problem free, although some are big problems and some small. In what ways could the breakup be a blessing in disguise? That’s the question you want to search for. Write your answers down so you can see in black and white that maybe there is some good to come out of it. You may not feel it yet, but with time, you will begin to realize the truth of what you discover in asking this question now. Later, you will come up with more answers to add to your list.

5. I mentioned above that you have control over your thoughts, but only as you become aware that you’re thinking about something that is upsetting you. When you notice you’re focusing on the hurt, humiliation or loss, for example, replace that thought with something that will shift your energy. You can turn on a funny movie, pick up a novel that really gets you sucked into the story, go out in nature, exercise, call a friend and ask them what’s going on in their life, not what is going on in yours, offer your time to a charitable organization, be with children, pets, whatever will take your mind off of your uncomfortable thoughts, at least for a time.

Yes, those thoughts will come back, but the more you take charge and purposefully shift your thoughts from those that make you feel bad to those that make you feel good, you will more quickly move through the emotional crisis. You will also gain a lifelong skill.

6. Once you are past the worst of it, begin to get out. Make dates with girlfriends but don’t talk about your break up. Sign up for dancing lessons, or something that will be fun and get you out socializing. Register for a matching service and just date to be dating, not because you’re desperately looking for a replacement.

The most important point I want to make here is that you’re in charge of how you react and respond to whatever happens to you. If you can begin to take charge of what you’re feeling and begin to purposefully choose what you’re thinking, you will move through heartbreak much more quickly.

I feel it is a waste of a heartbreaking experience not to learn the lessons that are waiting to be unearthed. By doing the above exercises, you will always learn the lessons that are there, waiting for you. When you do, you will grow, you will become wiser, and you will move ever closer to having more amazing experiences from dinner out with a girlfriend to a deeply loving romantic relationship. We are ever evolving, always moving toward the best version of ourselves. You get to choose how you respond to life.

From my heart to yours,

Learning how to communicate efficiently and lovingly with a man will do wonders for your relationship. For tips on how to do just that, check out Men Made Easy. The secrets revealed in this book will guide you into the relationship you always wanted.

Click here.