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Most of you are aware that orgasm doesn't always come easily for a women. (Excuse the pun.) Women are more complicated than men, which is in no way meant to put men down. On the contrary, men have a gift of being able to focus, and in bed, it's a real bonus. Women, on the other hand, are able to, and usually do, think about several things at once.

We now know that women actually do think differently than men. They use both lobes more when thinking and problem solving. This may be one of the reasons men are better able to focus. Throughout history, women have been required to do many things at once--hold an infant, cook a meal, watch out for a three year old, and talk to girlfriends and grandmother. It was part of survival. Whereas the man, being the hunter, had to be pretty single focused. He could not admire the flowers along the path to finding dinner. The survival of his family and the tribe depended on his ability to bring home the protein.

These attributes go to bed with us too. While a man is able to focus on sex, the woman is thinking of many things at once--can the kids hear, does he love me, he's touching my fat, are my breasts large enough, do I smell good, is my hair or makeup mussed, am I sexy enough, when is this orgasm going to arrive? Most women will verify that, at least occasionally, this is what goes on in their heads in the middle of having sex. It's not that she's not interested, it's just a habit from her daily life. On top of all that is the cultural stuff that's laid on a little girl, which travels with her into her adulthood: good girls don't; I'm a lady; I was supposed to say no, now I'm supposed to say yes?; If I enjoy it will he think I'm a slut?; and, I don't know how to do any of this sex stuff, no one ever taught me how. continued

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