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The Luxury of Love
When survival was the motivating factor in a couple marrying and creating a family, there weren't the complications of dating. Even today, many cultures still have arranged marriages where the most important factors are political, economic and whether or not the woman seems to have baby-making potential. But in many cultures, like here in the U.S., it's a lot of work to find someone with whom there is a mutual attraction and even more work to keep that love and attraction alive over time. One thing that can really help people have greater success is to know each other better. It is estimated that 83% of divorces could be prevented if couples asked each other the right questions. For a list of the most important questions to ask, click here.
Most of our roll models for modern relationships are from movies and television. With divorce, kids don't have any kind of roll model of how it might be to have a home with loving parents. So we are making it up as we go, and it's pretty obvious that we're not doing a very good job. One of the best ways to stay "in love" is to create triggers that help us let go of the petty grievances and stay focused on the qualities that attracted us in the first place. continued
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Many of our reactions to each other, what attracts us and drives us to want to be with someone of the opposite sex is deeply embedded in our biology and has to do with survival over the eons of time. But today, because survival is not the motivating factor in our lives, we are blessed with the opportunity to fall in love, to pleasure each other with romantic gestures and to want a love that endures and deepens over time.
