Understand Men - Relationship Advice

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September 20, 2007

Hi, it's Kara here,

In this issue:
1) Your Choice: Justify Your Actions and Stay Stuck or Grow
2) Date To Get the Results You Want
3) How To Get a Man To Open Up and Share
4) How Much Do You Love Yourself?

1) Your Choice: Justify Your Actions and Stay Stuck or Grow
I like to have Regis & Kelly on in the other room while I'm having my morning coffee and working through my daily hill of email. Keeps me up on movies, which Chris and I like to do most every Friday night. This morning Jeff Probst, of Survival fame, made an interesting comment. He said that he's become aware of how people justify their actions.

I realized that's one of the biggest detriments to a person growing. (Why grow, you might ask. Because that's how we improve and create a better and better life for ourselves.) You can't really grow if you justify what you do because when you do that, you're making excuses and giving reasons why what you're doing is okay. And this will keep you stuck in doing something the same way you always have. That's fine when it's getting you where you want to go. But what if you want to improve communication with your boyfriend or husband? What if you want to meet a loving, supportive man but you keep showing up angry? If someone asks you about your behavior and you go into, "I did that because..." or "You just don't understand..." or "It's just the way I am..." or "I can explain...", then you will not pick up that "mirror" and look at yourself. And if you won't look at yourself then you will never see how you are participating in the creation of everything that goes on in your life.

I'm going to be offering a seminar (over the phone) that will give you the tools to be able to change, grow and get more of what they want out of life. I was planning on offering it to just my DatingSuccessTechnology.com members but it would be just as helpful no matter what your relationship standing is. I'll let you know when it's going to be offered. When I taught these techniques in my live workshops they were life altering. Very powerful stuff and I'm excited to share them with you. Until then, start looking inward when something doesn't turn out the way you want and see where you are helping to create that. If you're not sure when it's time to do this, just notice when you start to justify your behavior. It will become more and more obvious. Awareness is the first step to self discovery. It's not easy but once you get the hang of it, there are steps you can take to completely transform your life. Trust me, I'm living proof that you can completely turn your life around. I was painfully insecure and now I'm one of the happiest, most confident people I know. And when I do take a dip down into the doo-doo, I get out of it very quickly. I can teach you how to do the same thing so that your natural state of being is you at your most magnificent, beautiful self.

2) Date To Get the Results You Want
What if you could finally start attracting the men you're interested in? What if you could develop the skills to date with confidence, knowing that you are more in control of the outcome than you have ever been? If that sounds good to you then I'd love you to join me next Tuesday evening, Sept. 25, at 6:00 Pacific Time (9:00 Eastern) where my partner, Paige Grant, and I will give you the ammunition you need to be able to get what you want. To learn more just go to: http://www.AliveWithLove.com/datingsuccess/datingbasics.html . I know it will be a fun evening and you'll come away from the call well prepared to start dating a whole new way.

3) How To Get A Man To Open Up and Share
Sharing our innermost thoughts, desires and fears with someone creates a of bond like no other. If you want to learn the skill of getting a man to open up, or if you learned it when you read Men Made Easy and have forgotten to use it, then view my new video, How To Get a Man To Open Up and Share
There are several videos on now: Why Men Don't Call Back; Why Men Don't Commit; Instant Beauty Make-Over; and How To Tell a Joke.
Please send the links to your friends. I'd love to really get the word out on these videos. And, as with the previous video, I'd appreciate your comments, especially if you offer them on YouTube. You can also give me feedback here: video feedback

4) Getting Involved With a Married Man
Check my blog if you're wondering whether or not this is a good idea. This was inspired by an email that was sent by one of my readers. Go to my blog

5) The Self-Love Test
How capable you are of welcoming love into your life is directly related to how much you love yourself. You've probably heard that before. Do you know how to tell how much you love yourself? Well, here's a test that works every time: Just notice your self-talk. How hard are you on yourself? How forgiving, how supportive, how happy are you with who you are. The way you talk to yourself is directly related to how much you love yourself. Notice this week if you beat yourself up. If you make a mistake, how do you treat yourself? If you forget something? If you haven't lost that pound you wanted to lose? If you can't attract a good man into your life? If your husband is disrespectful? When these things come up in your life, how hard are you on YOU?

And your ability to love another is directly related to how you treat others. And some of how you treat them goes on only in your head. How unforgiving are you? How quickly are you irritated? How forgiving are you when someone makes a mistake? Notice all those comments about others that go on in your head this week. Take notes and journal your feelings. Change cannot come about without awareness. This new awareness will be the first step toward letting go of negative self talk. You need to give yourself loving pep talks and encouragement. You need to be forgiving of yourself, and you need to believe that you are as magnificent as I know you are.

NOTE: I didn't do it on purpose, but the 1st and 5th articles are very connected. That's actually not so surprising because when the goal is to be our best, which means to grow our ability and capacity to love and be loved, it's all tied together.

Until next time, I wish you mountains of love, romance, and happiness.

With much love,

"Celebrate Life–Be Happy!"

Kara Oh
The Heart Specialist™
P.O. Box 21803
Santa Barbara, CA 93121
Ph: 805-687-2448

~ If you haven't read Men Made Easy there are things about men you need to know. You can order here.

~ If you want to bring more life and love to your marriage you'll want to take a look at Marriage Made Easy.

~ And if you want your man to learn how to treat you like a queen you'll want him to read Women Made Easy.

How To Capture His Heart (A dating guide - coming soon)

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