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AliveWithLove.com Home Only subscribers to the newsletter have access to this page. October - 2002 This Month's Issue Includes:
1. Do You Like Gifts? 1. DO YOU LIKE GIFTS? I went on a Mississippi River cruise on the Mississippi Queen with my mother. We got to know a delightful couple and shared many fun times and good conversations with them. One afternoon the evening entertainers led everyone in a game of He Said, She Said. It was their version of the Newlywed Game, but for couples of any number of years married. One of the questions was “What was the last gift the husband had given the wife.” The couple we had befriended were not up on stage but they did play the game between themselves in the audience. Afterward I asked them how they did. They described several questions and the answers but one stood out and screamed that I should share it with you. She said that he couldn’t think of the last gift he had given her and her response was, “Well, that must mean it’s time.” So, when you think it’s time he gave you a gift ask him very sweetly, “Honey, do you remember the last present you gave me?” Then if he doesn’t remember, which none of the men in the game did, your response should be, “Well, then I guess it’s time, then, isn’t it?” They both laughed as they shared and hopefully, so will your fellow. 2. GIVE A BETTER COMPLIMENT I found this in the October Fitness magazine. I’m not supposed to, but I’m going to give it to you word-for-word. Even well-meaning compliments sometimes manage to offend. Doe Lang, Ph.D., author of The New Secrets of Charisma (McGraw Hill, 1999) offers a few gracious alternatives. (Note from me: Think not only of friends, co-workers, spouses but also kids.)
COMPLIMENT - “Have you lost weight?”
COMPLIMENT - “I never knew you were so smart.”
COMPLIMENT - “Wow, I can’t believe you did it!” 3. NEW BOOK OUT NEXT MONTH! One of the things I want to do with this newsletter is make special offers to everyone on my mailing list. Offers that no one else will know about. Since I’m getting close to finishing a new e-book. I thought I’d offer any of you who want to purchase it early a very special pre-publication price. It will be available for $15.95 but if you order right now, I’ll make it available for only $10.95 to members of my mailing list and the Yahoo! Men Made Easy Online Women’s Support Group. There will be two free e-books that you will also get, even at this low price. Their titles are “His Cheating Heart, Why men cheat and what you can do about it”, and “Breaking-Up, How to get through it and be better than okay.” The book is titled “Why the &%*#@ Does He Do That?, Sorting out the crazy-making ways of men.” If you’ve ever felt like swearing (even if you don’t swear) because he did something that pushed your buttons, big time, you’ll find this book enlightening. Here’s a link to a page that describes the book in detail. http://www.AliveWithLove.com/whythe&%*#@/info.html. Just to tweak your curiosity, the other e-book I’m working on is titled: How To Be the Woman of His Dreams, Everything you need to know to make his head spin and his thoughts be only of you. 4. BOLD AND BODACIOUS I was interviewed for a Cosmopolitan Magazine article that will be coming out in January. I’ve done lots of interviews but it never occurred to me that I could share the info with my readers. They wanted me to come up with some way in the new year for a woman to be bold and flirt in a way that would be over the top and kind of wild. As most of you know, I don’t think it is such a good idea for the woman to pursue the man, mostly because he doesn’t know what to do when you confuse him like that, and she misses out on the pleasure and fun of him treating her like a queen and working to win her over. But, if you want to just go out and see how empowering it might feel to be bold and bodacious, here’s what I gave the Cosmo writer: This is probably obvious, but you need to dress sexy, have sexy hair and make-up. But you should be classy so you don’t look like a hooker. Go to a hot club where there are very cool guys. Be confident and have fun. The old classics from across the room are the most fun and very effective: 1. Once you have decided on a guy, you should get his attention, smile, then turn the tables by gazing at him until he looks away. (Usually the woman is the one who looks away.) 2. As sexy as you can, look directly at him and run your tongue along the bottom of your top lip, like in the movies. 3. Give him one of those big, sexy, full-lipped kisses, and do the little shoulder lift at the same time. Don’t forget to do the sexy eyes thing too. (You might want to practice this in the mirror.) 4. While looking directly at your target, with a confident look on your face, you should call the drink server over and tell him or her, while pointing in his direction, to send a drink to the guy you’re “toying” with. You have two options here. You can either have the server send whatever the guy is drinking or you can have one of those drinks with a naughty name sent. You decide. 5. After he’s received his drink, you should give him one of those “come-here” motions with your forefinger. When he comes over, you should not say a word, stand up, take him by the hand, and lead him to the dance floor. Dance like you’re the sexiest woman in the room. If, after talking to him, you decide he’s someone you’d actually like to get to know, make it all a joke and tell him your friends put you up to it. Then ask him how you did? He’ll think it was fun and then you can go back to being the “girl” and let him do the work of pursuing you further. WARNING: Do not go out and do this alone. Have your girlfriends with you. We all know there are some strange men out there and you don’t want to create a situation that will get you into any trouble. 5. JOKE OF THE MONTH A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the picture to his grandmother. He gets really worried when he realizes what he has done but then he remembers how bad his grandmother’s eyesight is and hopes she won’t notice. A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says: “Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style . . . it makes your nose look too short.” 6. LUMP DISEASE: A WARNING! The last thing I would like to share with you is about an observation my mother and I made on our Mississippi Queen river cruise. If you have taken any kind of cruise, you know about the dinner seating. I guess it is customary to have the tables assigned before you arrive so who you sit with is a crap shoot. We both hoped we would have fun people at our table. When we sat down we knew within a few minutes pretty much what we were in for. Because of one man and his wife, we came up with a new concept. We called it The Lump Disease. My mother and I are pretty much trouble makers in that we like to keep things fun and riotous. We like to laugh, joke, get interesting conversations going and we tease (flirt) with everyone who is game. Well, my mother sat next to this man and with all her great social skills and charm, she could not get any kind of spark out of Mr. Lump. He was excited to tell us about how he got his unusual name (a tiny bit of sparks with that) and then the last night, he told a joke because it was joke night in the Paddlewheel Lounge. It wasn’t very funny, and everyone at the table only laughed politely. His somewhat defensive comment was, “Well, I thought it was funny.” In between the first night’s introductory comments and his joke on the last night, he sat there all week like a lump, with hardly a comment, no matter how we kept trying. His wife had more to say but she was kind of stiff. Whenever we tried to get Mr. Lump into a conversation, she seemed to have a look on her face that was just short of rolling her eyes. I don’t think there was a lot of red-hot romance going on between them and probably never was. Fortunately there was a sweet mother/daughter couple and two fun women at our table so we all kept the table fun. The reason I brought this up was not so much to dish (gossip) about the people at our table. More to the point, it got me to thinking about how someone becomes a lump in the first place. As you know, my web site is called Alive With Love. I think we should always be growing, never standing still, developing new facets and aspects of ourselves. Being creative, joyful, curious, trying new things, meeting new people, and never, ever allowing ourselves to stagnate. Isaac Newton taught us that a body in motion tends to stay in motion and a body at rest tends to stay at rest. So my goal with my web site, my books and seminars is to inspire and encourage women to never stop evolving, never stop growing, never stop learning, never, never, never. If you do, you will develop the lump disease, just like Mr. and Mrs. Lump. And trust me, it’s not a pretty sight. I’ve posted a new article about this at Lump Disease. "Life may not be the party we had hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance." Unknown With much love, “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” --Mae West
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