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March - 2002

This Month's Issue Includes:

1. The Word of the Day for March 14 is
2. Peak Performance
3. A Thought Provoking Question
4. A Ritual for Lovers

Dear Alive With Love visitors,

It’s March 14th and my birthday. Lately I’ve been working long hours on redesigning the web site so I haven’t taken the time to put out a newsletter for several weeks. Well, I get the Word of the Day from Merriam-Webster Online and today’s word was so wonderful that I decided to share it with you, which meant send a newsletter. I hope you will find some fun, inspiration and learn a little something.

Hugs,
Kara

1. The Word Of The Day For March 14 Is:

lambent \LAM-bunt\ (adjective)

1. Playing lightly on or over a surface: flickering.

2. Softly bright or radiant.

3. Marked by lightness or brilliance especially of expression.

Example sentence:

“The lanes nearby are lined with lovingly wrought ironwork gates and lambent purple flowers.” Ed Vulliamy, The New Republic, 8-16-99 Did you know?

Fire is frequently associated with lapping or licking imagery:
flames are often described as “tongues” that “lick.” “Lambent” is a part of this tradition, coming from “lambens,” the present participle of the Latin verb “lambere,” meaning “to lick.” In its earliest uses, “lambent” meant “playing lightly over a surface,” “gliding over,” or “flickering.” These uses were usually applied to flames or light, and eventually the term came to mean “radiant” or “light and brilliant.”

(Isn’t that a cool word? I just love that it came on my Birthday. Now to figure out how to incorporate it into my vocabulary.)

2. Peak Performance

Abraham Maslow introduced the concept of Peak Experiences. If you find yourself feeling sad, angry, helpless or anything other than your most glorious self, you can change your state of being instantly by drawing on past Peak Performances.

Find a time you can be alone, undisturbed. Then sit comfortably, close your eyes and remember back to an experience when you felt completely at peace, or filled with the fire of confidence, or in “the zone” during an athletic event. Those are the times when you lose touch with time and place, you’re lost in the moment, when you’re “one” with nature, God, or some force that takes you to the clouds. There can be several, creating a variety of choices from which to draw. When you remember each experience, make it as real as if you were back there again, re-experience the event. Feel the emotional state, the feelings in your body, and make it absolutely real with all the colors, smells, textures, sounds and emotions. Then, whenever you wish to go to that state, depending on the experience you wish to tap into, you simply relive that experience in full, living color. As you do that, you’ll feel the original state begin to wash over you. Do the meditation several times to “lock in” the feelings, then they will be yours to used whenever you need them.

Love is a positive force: it thrives in an atmosphere of positivity and starves in an atmosphere of negativity. That’s why it’s so important to find a partner who has a positive attitude. Barbara De Angelis

3. A Thought Provoking Question

Don’t think about it, just notice the first thing that comes to you when you ask yourself: What do you want more than anything else? Write down all the reasons you want that and what it will do for you to have it. Now write a list of things you are actively doing to make that dream a reality. Are you satisfied with your efforts? What more can you be doing? Write it down, then create a workable plan for achieving your dream. At the end of each day, make a commitment to yourself to do at least one thing to move you closer to your dream becoming a reality. If you find yourself slacking off, ask yourself why? If you really want your dream to come true but feel you need help, ask a friend to be your partner. Tell them what you promise to do that week, then ask them to phone you at least once that week to see how you’re doing. You’ll be amazed at how much more committed you will be.

4. A Ritual For Lovers

Create a ritual that you can share with your lover? Rather than just a gift or card that is quickly forgotten, a ritual can deepen the feelings of love that you share with each other. Take a bath and let your mind feel love, peace and contentment. Wear something that makes you feel relaxed and at ease. If you prefer, you can do this ritual nude.

a. Make a date to be alone when you will not be disturbed by anything or anyone.

b. If you have sage, burn it and imbue the room with love.

c. Light a candle with the intention to deepen your love.

d. Sit comfortably, facing each other. Then take a few deep breathes and relax completely.

e. Invite your higher power (God, Goddess, angels, spirits) to join in your celebration of love.

f. Hold each other’s hands and look into each other’s eyes. Think of at least three reasons why you love this person sitting across from you. When you are ready, take turns sharing those reasons. After you have shared, give each other kisses on the forehead, on each closed eye, then gently on the lips.

g. Finally, take turns telling each other: “I am grateful for your beautiful love. Thank you for loving me so completely.”

h. What you do now should be guided by your feelings for each other. You might have some fruit prepared to feed each other, you might want to make love, or you might want to go out and dance. Let your hearts guide you.

A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, “Pardon, me, ma’am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.” The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, No, he didn’t. He just walked in the door.”

Forgiveness is the key to inner peace because it is the mental technique by which our thoughts are transformed from fear to love. --Marianne Wiliamson, from “Return to Love”

Please feel free to forward this to all of your online friends.

Joyfully,
Kara Oh

”Shame is the feeling you have when you agree with the woman who loves you that you are the man she thinks you are.” -- Carl Sandburg

Your e-mail address will never be sold or shared with anyone. Your personal information will always be kept strictly confidential.

Kara Oh is the author of
Men Made Easy
Marriage Made Easy
Women Made Easy
How To Capture His Heart (A dating guide - coming soon)

Past issues menu here

Kara Oh
P.O. Box 21803
Santa Barbara, CA 93121
805-687-2448