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January 24, 2007

Hi all you lovely ladies (and you great men who want to learn about women),

In this issue:
1) What Kind of "Dating Energy" Are You Transmitting?
2) Los Angeles Singles Seminars
3) Are You Getting Him To Talk?

1) What Kind of "Dating Energy" Are You Transmitting?
I had lunch yesterday with a male friend who is looking for a life partner (to live with but not marry). He's 63, attractive in a quirky kind of way, lots of fun, has tons of money and wants a woman who is available to travel and play. Consequently he doesn't want a professional woman who is tied to her job or someone with kids at home. He also wants a woman somewhere between 35 and 55. She doesn't have to have lots of money but he'd like her to be financially secure. But he can't find anyone. He says most women have so much baggage from being hurt by previous men that they aren't able to see past the hurt and just "be" with a new man. Or, like a woman he just took out, she couldn't carry a conversation.

One of the things I've noticed in the workshops I've done is that way too many women who go through divorce or big break-ups don't use those experiences as opportunities to grow but instead just hunker down and put their energy into not being hurt again.

My friend most of the women he meets aren't open to being playful, fun, interesting, interested or discovering who he is as a person. He said it's like their energy is weak and uninviting. When he doesn't want to spend more time with this kind of woman (who can blame him), this only compounds what she already believes about men, herself, and life. So the pool of possibilities gets smaller and smaller.

To compound the problem, as we get older we get more clear about what we want and don't want, which also narrows the field. So if you're dating and searching for a great guy, or if you're not getting asked out, take a look inward at this beginning of a new year and be brutally honest. What kind of energy are you putting out? If you are truly a joyous person, if you care about what others are feeling and needing, if you're interested and interesting, and if you're a good conversationalist, then you shouldn't be having trouble getting dates. If you know you fall short in a few areas there are things you can do to turn things around so that you can finally get all that you deserve.

On that note, I have a new web site that I'm developing that will give you access to absolutely everything you could possibly need to do the work on yourself that is required to be happy. I started working on myself when I was in my early 40's and it's been the most fascinating journey. I started out extremely insecure and today I'm one of the most secure, confident, happy people I know. Everyone has the most amazing person just aching to come out and live life to the fullest, including you. I'm really excited about the new web site but because it is so extensive it will be a while before it is launched. Obviously, you'll be the first to know about it.

2) Los Angeles Singles Seminars
I'm going to start offering singes events in the Los Angeles area. They will be open to both men and women, no reservations required, reasonably priced. Do you live in Los Angeles? If so, I'd love for you to attend or even better, be part of my team to help make the events run smoothly. I have people on my mailing list from all over the world but have no idea how many are in my area. Each week would include a short talk on a dating topic, topics that will create interaction with the audience, guest speakers and always a mixer afterward, where singles can mingle. Women will get in for half price when they bring an eligible man friend. I will be offering events in 4 different areas, so that each area will always be on the same Tuesday of each month. For instance, Santa Monica would be on the 2nd Tuesday of each month, etc. Please email me if you are in the Los Angeles area.

3) Are You Getting Him to Talk?
A good percentage of you have read Men Made Easy, my book about men. I'm working on Intimacy Made Easy which is filled with love games designed to create deeper intimacy. Of course a big part of intimacy is sharing our deepest thoughts, feelings, fears and joys with each other. Have you been using the technique for getting him to open up that I describe in Men Made Easy. If you've forgotten to use it, here's a quick reminder: Pick a time when he's not doing anything, sit by him and settle in, then ask him a not-too-scary feeling question such as "What do you like best about ..." He'll have to access his feelings but it's not as scary as "Why do you love me?" Now for the tricky part, "DON'T say anything... Just listen." If you can just listen he'll have what I call "Moment's of Silence" where he's gathering his thoughts. If you allow him this time, you'll be gifted with him sharing more deeply from his heart.

4) For Single Women Who Are Looking for Mr. Right
If you haven't check it out yet, you might want to take a peek at Catch Him & Keep Him. Go to http://www.catchhimandkeephim.com/affiliate/dt.asp?a=CD1017&b=281&o=

With much love,
Kara

Please feel free to forward this to all of your online friends.

Your e-mail address will never be sold or shared with anyone. Your personal information will always be kept strictly confidential.

Kara Oh is the author of
Men Made Easy
Marriage Made Easy
Women Made Easy
How To Capture His Heart (A dating guide - coming soon)

Past issues menu here

Kara Oh
P.O. Box 21803
Santa Barbara, CA 93121
805-687-2448