 |
|
|
AliveWithLove.com Home Only subscribers to the newsletter have access to this page. February - 2004 Hi all, Kara here, In this issue:
1. Love Math 1. LOVE MATH Your ability to love and be loved is directly proportional to how well you are able to love yourself. SC + SL = LI x LO*. That’s what I mean by Love Math. Loving yourself means accepting who you are just as you are, caring enough to want to be the best you can be, having pride in how you are in the world, being confident that others care about you, being happy with how you look, and appreciating the gift that you are to the universe. If you really, truly love yourself, you won’t feel the angst of needing to be loved. You enjoy receiving love from others but you don’t need it to be happy within yourself. When you love yourself you know you are here for a purpose, that the space you take up is deservedly yours, and that you have lots to offer the world around you. When you love yourself you take time to nurture yourself, to spoil yourself once in a while, and to cherish who you are. If you berate yourself, if you are shy and feel like people don’t like or accept you, if you don’t think you deserve the goodies of life and don’t deserve to take up any space, if you aren’t able to take time for yourself and always do for others, you are not loving yourself as you should. The great thing is that as your self-love develops your ability to love others grows. Often, when a woman gives and gives and never takes time for herself, never even acknowledging that she has needs, she can’t give the kind of love she intends to give. So actually, loving yourself is the best gift you can give those people in your life that you care most about because you’ll be more fully able to love them. If you feel you lack self-confidence and wish you could be more outgoing, you must first accept that you can change. If you can do that, it’s the beginning of a new level of self-love because it takes self-love to believe in yourself enough to think you can improve. I’m working on a new book that will be all about how to be happier, how to love yourself more, and how to break through the barriers that have stopped you from having the life you’ve always dreamed of. I want you to be happy and loving yourself is essential for that to happen. *SC + SL = LI x LO (self-confidence plus self-love is equal to love-in times love-out. 2. VALENTINE’S DAY E-CARDS Louise, my web partner at AdoringYou.com, is gearing up for her busiest time. That’s right, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. You’ll want to drop by her site to see what goodies she’s dreamed up for you to send to your honey, your girlfriends, and even family members. Take a peek at AdoringYou.com. You should sign up for her newsletter and updates so you’ll know when she has new cards. 3. WHAT’S IN THE WAY OF LOVE With Valentine’s Day coming up, it makes people look at their own relationship situation. If you’re single and not involved, you wonder if you’ll ever find someone. If you’re involved but things aren’t as great as you’d like, you wonder if things can be fixed. It is often difficult to determine for yourself why things aren’t quite as you’d like. Here’s a process that might give you the insight you need to make important changes in how things are going. If you’ve ever done the Wise Woman meditation that I describe in the Wise You section of AliveWithLove.com, you won’t need to read how it’s done. But if you haven’t ever done it, or it’s been a long time, you need to go to http://www.AliveWithLove.com/wiseyou/wise_articles_wise.html and learn the process. Once you’ve learned how to do it, I want you to make a date with yourself to have some alone time to do this process. That means no interruptions from kids, animals, phones, etc. After you’ve gathered all your spiritual helpers to join you, ask them to help you find the answer to this question: What is getting in the way of my being able to give and receive love more fully? When you start coming up with your answers be sure and not judge or edit what you learn. Even it if doesn’t feel very good, use it as information you need to be able to create more love in your life. When you are done with your meditation, while everything is still fresh, write down everything you learned. Then create a plan for how you are going to use that information to enjoy more love. Hint: It’s going to involve changing some things about yourself. You might find it valuable to do this meditation several times until you know you have gotten to the heart of the issue. It’s a fascinating journey you are about to take and the rewards can be tremendous. Be open to everything you will learn. I would love to hear from you after you’ve done this process. I know you’ll be surprised by some of the things you’re going to learn about yourself. "Excellence is a matter of intention. Aim to be fully present for whatever happens--then see how much richer your life is, even when things don't go your way." O Magazine 4. AUTOMATIC MILLIONAIRE
My friend that I told you about last month, my soul sister that I reconnected with, has a company called Wealthy Women. One of the primary aspects of her company is the formation of what she calls Prosperity Circles. These are groups of women around the country who meet every two weeks for a year to learn the ins and outs of finances. Everything about it is designed with women in mind; the language, the pace, even the look of the materials. I can’t wait to start my group in Santa Barbara. In last weeks facilitator meeting she mentioned the book, Automatic Millionaire. If you want to take charge of your finances and really get ahead, this is a must read. Amazingly simple concepts and fun to read. I highly recommend it. I’ve already done what he says to do. Check it out here: The Automatic Millionaire: A Powerful One-Step Plan to Live and Finish Rich 5. AFTER HE CHEATS I saw an Oprah show on cheating recently. Having gone through the horrific pain of a cheating husband, I can speak from experience. One of the things that hurts the most is the loss of that sweetness of trust. There’s a kind of innocence that goes along with that trust and you kind of bask in it. It’s like a bubble that the two of you share. When you get married that bubble surrounds you and carries you along. You’re not really aware that it’s there until something causes it to burst. The sad thing that happens when one of you cheats is that that sweet trust can never again be recaptured. It’s gone. I’ve counselled many couples on this subject and the core of my advice is that you cannot regain the same trust you had. You can’t even recreate your relationship to be like it was. Impossible. What a couple who wants to try to stay together must do is begin anew. The old relationship is gone and a new one must replace it. How each couple goes about doing this varies a great deal. But the bottom line is that the two people have to sit down, talk about what they want out of their future together, how they will go about achieving those goals, promise not to bring up the past hurts, and remind each other regularly why they are together. Whatever it is that makes them want to work it out has to be pretty important. If that can stay the focus then the new relationship can be something quite spectacular. But no matter what, it is a difficult task and both need to want to do whatever it takes to make it work. If any of you are struggling with this issue, my heart goes out to you. Try the above suggestions and see if the two of you can work together to create a brand new beginning. 6. A MAJOR ATHLETE AMONG US
I got an email from a woman who was having difficulty downloading my book and wanted the softback shipped to her. I noticed a link at the bottom of her email so I clicked on it. It turns out that Lynn Petronella is "an All Americn heroine with a bright light to shine on generations to come." KNOW WHERE TO RUN: AN AMERICAN ODYSSEY I hope your Valentine’s Day will be happy and filled with love. I hope you will not have too many expectations, hopes or fantasies. One thing I’ve learned about expectations is that the bigger they are, the more you will be disappointed. Simply love yourself, let your love flow, and allow the goodies to come to you, whatever they may be and however they manifest themselves. Allow yourself to enjoy being surprised instead of setting yourself up for disappointment. If you have no expectations then everything you get will be wonderful.
Joyfully yours, Your e-mail address will never be sold or shared with anyone. Your personal information will always be kept strictly confidential. Kara Oh is the author of Past issues menu here Kara Oh "We're here to make you happy."
If you are interested in our affiliate program for webmasters click here
Copyright © 1997-2006 All Rights Reserved by Kara Oh |
