 |
|
|
AliveWithLove.com Home Only subscribers to the newsletter have access to this page. August 7, 2007 Hi all, it's Kara here, I'm so sorry if you ended up with two newsletters. I think I kind of messed up when I was posted this weeks newsletter this evening. I figured out what I did wrong but it wouldn't let me undo it and start over. I'll get it right next time. In this issue:
1) Professional Matchmakers Tell Why Women Are Blowing It I've been talking to professional Matchmakers and I'm learning a lot. If you're dating here are just some of the things you need to know because you might be doing some of these things without realizing it...and wondering why there's no interest in another date: a. Women approach dating the same way they do work, set the goal then conquer it. Men tell them that when they go on a first date with some women they feel like they're on a job interview. I recommend you relax and just see what happens. At the very least, you'll meet someone new. And leave that power suit at home. Dress like you enjoy being a woman. b. Men are too picky about how they need a woman's body to be. Gentlemen, you're getting way too hung up on breast size. I recommend you get a movie with Camoran Diaz, or Niomi Cambell, Kate Hudson and her mom, Goldie Hahn, Wanona Ryder, Debra Messing or Holly Hunter. One of those must be attractive to you. See, they don't have to have big ones. If you're too focused on breast size you're narrowing the playing field more than you should and maybe missing out on a very juicy lady who meets all your other criteria. c. Women push too hard to have sex. This may seem like the opposite of the stereotype but it's one of the things men are complaining about. Maybe they're just needing to get laid, or maybe they think that's what a man wants. But a man who has plunked down several thousand dollars is looking for someone to settle down with. He needs to respect the woman he chooses. Yes, I know, there's a double standard, but he assumes that if you're too quick to hop into bed with him, that's what you do with all men. Plus, he want's to get to know you first. What a concept. d. Women don't wear make-up on their dates. This one really surprised me. I had no idea this was going on. But what they tell the Matchmakers is that "he should appreciate the real me." It's the same thing women who are overweight say. It's not that men like makeup, it's that you cared enough to make the effort. I know for me, Chris says I don't need make-up. And there's some truth to that, as far as he's concerned. But if that's completely true, why does he perk up with lots of compliments about how great I look when I spiff up to go out with him. Ladies, too much make-up is bad but no make-up is worse. there's lots more to share with you, which is why I'm designing the Dating seminars, discussed below. 2) The Joy Of Just Being Held This time we just held each other and all of a sudden I just let go of every thought and just took in how good it felt to just be held. I asked if he thought many women were able to let go and do the same thing. I wonder... I know my mind seems to be going a mile a minute which keeps me from just "being" in the sweet moments that come my way. So I'm reminding you to just "be" and enjoy what's right there in front of you. No thinking about your to-do list, what he's thinking, where the relationship is going, whether he can feel your fat... none of that. Just "be" and see how good it feels. 3) Dating Seminars To Start In September A girlfriend of mine, Paige Grant, is the sister I never had. When we talked on the phone for the first time (when I was booking a radio interviewing workshop) we had an immediate rapport. It turned out that she was a dating coach for seven years in Chicago, before she moved to Los Angeles. We've talked over the years about doing something together but it just never happened. Well, that's changing and we've created Dating Success Technology. We're going to be working with Matchmakers around the country, offering workshops that will help men and women be better prepared to not only date better, but to go on to create a better relationship than they've ever had before. I told her I wanted to make the seminar available to the circle of women (and a few brave men) who receive my newsletters. So you'll be the first to get the details. We're excited to help men and women by offering our unique system of dating. You're going to love it... 4) What's Wrong With the Men You Date? If you'll take a few minutes and tell me what men do to turn you off and not want to go out with again, and the same from the great men who receive this newsletter, I'll send you the results along with suggestions for not making those mistakes yourself. You'll need to include your email after your comments so I'll know who to send the results to. Go here to participate in my survey. As always, you can send me topic ideas for future newsletter articles. To give me more ideas just click here. 4) "How Do I Not Be Sad & Cranky With My Boyfriend?" One of the questions asked regarding topics for me to talk about was from a woman who had lost her job and found she couldn't stop being sad and sometimes snapping at her boyfriend, even though he was being completely supportive and trying to cheer her up. She was concerned that she might push him away. My advice follows: One of the things I'm a big believer in is taking control of your moods, thoughts, and emotions. We all get cranky once in a while but any time we want to shift how we feel, from the inside out, there are things you can do. Yesterday I made myself late to an appointment (totally my own fault) which I rarely do. I found myself starting to get really upset as I was leaving the parking lot to get on the highway toward the freeway. I caught myself, did one quick adjustment, and I was no longer upset. I admit that I've practiced doing this for several years and I can almost always shift my mood to be more cheerful. Sometimes I do this for the person or people I'm with, but mostly I do it for me. I discovered years ago that I was only hurting myself by being sad, angry, worried, or whatever emotion that was keeping me from being happy. Here's what I did, and then I'll offer several other things you can do. When I was upset yesterday I caught myself being upset, determined that I wanted to show up to the meeting in good spirits, then smiled with an intent that I was purposefully shifting my energy. That's it. By the time I drove out onto the highway, I was feeling fine, focused on the task of getting to the appointment, not on the fact that I'd messed up. Why does this work? Because when you smile your body secrets endorphins, kind of like morphine. Try it. Close your eyes, drop your mouth, drop your shoulders. How do you feel? Now close your eyes and just smile, keeping your posture slumped. Do you notice a little shift in how you feel? Now smile, sit up straight, lift your shoulders, your head and notice that you feel even better. What you're doing is shifting your focus, your intention and causing a shot of endorphins to go out into your system. You can release even more endorphins from smiling, exercising, having sex, and probably just about anything that gets your body moving. There are other things you can do that are more substantial. Make a decision to be positive. There is absolutely no benefit to you being cranky, depressed, angry or worried. None at all. So decide that you wish to develop the habit of being positive and happy so, like a rubber band, you always snap back to that mode. It might take some time if your habit is to be morose, sad or angry. But it can be done. One way is to remember a time when you were really happy. It can be from something recent or something from years ago. The most important thing is that you remember it so vividly that you feel in your body what you were feeling then. Then use that as an anchor to go to whenever you need more assistance than just putting on a smile. If you really want to become happier, more attractive and a better companion and friend, do what I'm telling you to do and you can completely transform your outlook on life. 5) Important Notice A lot of you have signed up to be on my other list, as I have been requesting. If you got a newsletter before this arrived then you have successfully put yourself on the new list and you can click unsubscribe below so you are taken off of this list. I don't want you to keep getting two newsletters. If you did not already get a newsletter (meaning this is the only one you got), I need you to go to my web site and sign up there. Just go to http://www.AliveWithLove.com and click the offer for the ebooklet. I'm going to have to drop this list host soon and then I won't be able to send to you again. Until next time, I'm wishing you mountains of love, romance, and happiness. With much love,
"Celebrate Life–Be Happy!" Kara Oh ~ If you haven't read Men Made Easy there are things about men you need to know. You can order here. ~ If you want to bring more life and love to your marriage you'll want to take a look at Marriage Made Easy. ~ And if you want your man to learn how to treat you like a queen you'll want him to read Women Made Easy. Feel free to pass this newsletter on to your friends but please copy in it's entirety. Copyright© April, 2007 Your e-mail address will never be sold or shared with anyone. Your personal information will always be kept strictly confidential. Kara Oh is the author of Past issues menu here "Celebrate Life -- Be Happy."
If you are interested in our affiliate program for webmasters click here
Copyright © 1997-2007 All Rights Reserved by Kara Oh |
