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AliveWithLove.com Home Only subscribers to the newsletter have access to this page. April 8 , 2007 Hi, Kara here... Happy Easter to you! In this issue: 1) The Poison of Those Rolling Eye If you've ever had someone roll their eyes at something you've said or done, you know how it feels. If you haven't, then imagine how your partner would feel if you said all the words that the eye roll implies. If you're a basically nice person, you probably wouldn't say the words at all. The eye roll is the equivalent of flipping someone off in the car. If someone bumped into you at a store, you'd say excuse me not get angry. I know I know I go on-and-on about this, but you CANNOT expect to inspire love and romance if you aren't being kind, thoughtful, respectful and loving toward your partner. If you really want to keep things moving along in a positive direction then start being loving...all of the time. That may seem impossible to you. But even when you're having a disagreement, you can do so in a loving way. That means, don't do or say anything that will be hurtful. I tend to shut down and go inside when I'm upset. My boyfriend, Chris, is unwilling to let that go. He used to just go off until I came around because it hurt his feelings for me to shut him out. I've told him that I don't like isolating myself, but that I do it out of many years of habit (29 year marriage). So now he comes to me immediately and wants to know exactly what's going on. Then he wants to discuss it until it gets resolved. It always does and we've always stayed loving, even when it gets heated, because we're committed to growing our love, each and every day. It's all about the commitment to yourself though. If you feel like you're with a person who makes you be a better person, then you must commit to your own, ongoing, personal growth as a top priority. Not a simple endeavor, but always, always well worth all the effort you put into it. Here's something to think about, if your relationships are going well (with everyone you are interested in or care about) then you're doing well. If they're not, you need to look inside and sort out what's going on. No matter what the other person might be doing, it's always about you. If you shouldn't be with them, what's going on within you that you're still there? If they irritate you, why aren't you saying something loving to communicate that something is causing a problem in your relationship. If you're not getting something you need from your partner, why aren't you speaking up? None of this is easy. It's an ongoing, ever evolving path toward opening your heart. If you're dating: When you're getting to know someone it's easier to be on your best behavior. Rather than just faking it for a while, why not consciously use that time to actually, consciously change your way of being. Change yourself into a kind, loving, generous, joyful, positive person. That will make your more attractive than any new outfit or lipstick. Here's a great way to ingrain this new behavior, taking off from what I said earlier, about learning for your sake: When you say anything about an ex (and don't until he invites you, then say as little as possible by changing the subject quickly) be kind and focus on what you learned, how it made you a better person, and that you're grateful for the experience. One of the things men have told me over and over is that they're more often than not, completely turned off when a woman starts in on all the bad thiings her ex did. 2) Cellulite - Men Don't See What We See Last year, when Chris went to a conference in Florida, I stayed back and oversaw the removal of the cottage cheese (acoustical ceiling) throughout his home. This year, actually on Tuesday, I'm going with him. He said everyone is excited to meet me and especially to find out who this woman is who did the cottage cheese removal for him. I told him I just didn't want to be known as "The Cottage Cheese" lady. He asked why and I explained that that's what we call cellulite. I said it's hereditary. He said, "Well, you don't have any, do you?" I laughed to myself, and said, "Just a little." So there it was, confirmation that he's never noticed and a chance to reiterate to you, "DO NOT point out your flaws because most of the time, he hasn't noticed, or doesn't care." It makes you less attractive because it makes you sound insecure. Men are really turned on by a woman who likes her body. So focus on the positive and be grateful for your body and all the good it does for you. That will make you instantly more attractive. I hope you'll "play" with my Secrets about men this week and let your Feminine Grace give you lots more of what you want. If you haven't read Men Made Easy yet, you can do so here. Feel free to pass this newsletter on to your friends but please copy in it's entirety. With much love, P.S. I just purchased a copy of Howard Murad's book, The Cellulite Solution. It's really about eating well, some important supplements, and generally doing exactly what's needed to stay healthy. But somehow, following his advice to get rid of cellulite is a much stronger motivation than good health or staying trim. I'm going to purchase his supplements and cream tomorrow, as the stores open. You might want to check it out. Copyright© April, 2007 Your e-mail address will never be sold or shared with anyone. Your personal information will always be kept strictly confidential. Kara Oh is the author of Past issues menu here Kara Oh "We're here to make you happy."
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