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Actual Label Instructions
On Consumer Goods
 On a Sear's hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
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On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(The shoplifter special)
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On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how ...?)
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On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But its "just" a suggestion)
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On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(Too late!)
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On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows day...)
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On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?) continued 
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