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Small Talk
Be more thoughtful with your questions so they talk more about themselves than the surface details. For instance, instead of asking what they do for their work, ask them what they love about their work or what was the most challenging, or interesting thing they did at work that week. You'll find out what they do and, at the same time, get them to open up to you and share a bit of who they are. Look them directly in the eyes, then listen with your full attention. The art of being a good conversationalist is sincerely caring what the other person is saying, then listening, listening, listening. (Go to the Relationship Games section and select The Friendship Game. It will give you some great questions for opening interesting conversations.)
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Starting a conversation when you're first meeting or getting to know each other can be awkward. But it doesn't have to be that way. When you're feeling shy and uncomfortable that only means you're focusing on yourself--how you'll be judged, hoping you'll make a good impression, and not make a fool of yourself. Change the focus to the person you're talking to. Assume they're feeling uncomfortable and do what you can to make them feel more at ease.
