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To Pursue or Not To Pursue
Your power lies not in doing the pursuing but making it easy to be pursued. That way you get to have the fun of being the tempting woman he can't get off of his mind and he gets to enjoy being the man. Some men are too dense to notice some of what you are doing so with that kind of guy, you need to be more direct. Instead of asking him out on a one-on-one date, why not ask him to a group activity? It's still a date but not in the traditional sense where the man asks, picks you up and pays. Even on an online dating web site, wait to be pursued. Believe me, any man that's signed on to one of those sites has gone through the photos, read some of the profiles and determined whether or not he's interested. You've got your photo up, you've made yourself sound fun and interesting and now you wait for an email. I broke my rule twice and after waiting for two different men to write to me, I finally wrote to them. We emailed, then talked on the phone and with both of them, I learned quickly that they weren't anyone I wanted to meet. But because I'm a nice person, heaven forbid I hurt someone's feelings, I allowed them to badger me into meeting them. And I broke another one of my rules by driving to where they lived, rather than having them come to me. Both of them were jerks. Fortunately not dangerous, but I ignored my red flags, my gut and my rules. Why do lessons have to be painful to learn? You can pursue any man but if you want to feel like he's your hero, your prince and your big strong, intelligent man, let him pursue you. Notice I used the word "let. As Steve Nakamoto says in Men Are Like Fish, "You've got to put out the bait to get him to bite." Figure out what your bait is then reel him in with your charm, your beauty, your sense of humor, your hobbies...What is it about you that makes you extra special? Dangle it in front of him then wait for him to take the next step. If he's interested, and not too intimidated, he'll go for it. Men need a 90% go signal so put on that charm and see what happens.
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Modern women are used to going after what they want and many have successfully "landed their man." But there are risks that are often subtle and go unnoticed. The primary risk is that men don't like aggressive women. At least not when it comes to having one of their primary manly jobs taken from them.
