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A woman wrote to me yesterday worried that she might have blown it. She had left an emotional message (with tears) and an email, all asking what his intentions were. How many of us have left that embarrassing message, wishing we could take it back? I know I have. When she did talk to him, the man said that she made him nervous. Men never do well with a lot of emotional craziness but when it’s just the first few dates, usually, he’s outa there. As most men will say, “Who needs that?” Indeed, who does need that?

Ladies, ya gotta quit doing the crazy thing. Save that for your girlfriends. A man wants to know that the woman he’s getting to know is stable. That’s one of the things he’s trying to figure out. That’s what dating is all about, by the way, trying to find out if this is a potential match. Too often, a woman meets a man, finds him attractive, then way before she ought to, starts trying to move it along to the “next level.” The next level shouldn’t even be a consideration until you’re absolutely clear about his integrity, his relationship with friends and family, his respect for you, your respect for him, his financial stability, etc. Dating is a time of learning, not a time of forcing it to happen, unless you’re only looking for a roll in the hay. And if that’s the case, then there’s no next stage, other than “will he be okay when I bring out the BIG TOYS.”

With much love,
Kara