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The answer: They have no one to talk to. Men are terribly isolated in this society. They’ve been taught since they were little boys to hold it all in, not to cry, not to be vulnerable. In Oprah Magazine this month Eve Ensler, as she does every month, asked several movers, shakers, and celebrities how they would help the world. Jane Fonda said she’d encourage all mothers and grandmothers to quit forcing boys to grow up as isolated males, discouraged in so many ways to not show their true feelings. I have been preaching this for a dozen years.
After a man commits suicide it isn’t uncommon for the wife, family and close friends to say: "I had no idea…" Did you know that men commit suicide more than women do? Women attempt it more often but men usually succeed. Women use methods that can more easily be reversed, and they leave hints with friends and family. They, more often, feel like there’s someone who will show up for them. Men use methods that are permanent because they have no hope. (I just noticed… men are taught that it’s shameful to fail. So even in suicide, they will not allow themselves to fail.)
So what can you do? Give them a safe outlet for expressing what’s going on inside of them. To learn how to do that watch my video, How To Get a Man To Open Up and Share. You can see it on UTube (there are 5 other videos you might find informative)
If you can give your husband, boyfriend and/or your sons a safe outlet in which they can express themselves, they will be more centered, more balanced, feel more loved, feel much less isolated, and, if they do have worries, fears, and concerns, they’ll know they DO have someone safe they can talk to. What an amazing gift you have to power to give him.
If you’re dating, don’t expect any man to open up too much. That would be way too risky. But if you can show them that you are safe, you’ll stand out as a very unique woman. Why? Because way too many women (according to the men I interview) are angry at men. Why would any man want anything to do with that? I don’t usually make sales pitches, but if you read Men Made Easy you can become that exceptional women who stands out as someone any man would want.
With much love,
Kara
Your Heart Specialist™
