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A woman sent me an email explaining that she didn’t trust men and that she didn’t like that about herself. I don’t blame her. I think that would feel just awful and certainly would keep her from enjoying a healthy, loving relationship. The following is my advice to her. If you find yourself feeling like you don’t trust men, maybe my advice will help you:

Hi Cindy,

My intuition tells me that it’s more about trusting yourself. You need to learn to tap into your Inner Wise Woman, to hear your inner voice, which is your intuition. You need to learn to pay attention when your intuition is telling you to beware. If you ignore it, you get yourself into situations that you could have, should have, avoided if you had been listening. Some call them red flags. Most men are basically good and decent. But if you go for the bad boys, or are not that selective in who you date, you will get yourself into situations where a man can take advantage of your gullibility and naivete’. If this does not describe your behavior and you have no discernible reason to not trust men, then you probably need to do some therapy where you dig beneath the surface and sort out what happened in your childhood with your father, an uncle, a brother, a teacher, or some man you looked up to who did something to you to cause you not to trust men. If this is a possibility, pick a therapist with whome you feel really, really comfortable and know that it might take some time. If they do not offer anything that will help you heal and strengthen, only the discoveries, then you need to find someone who will. There is much that can be done with the right person.

I wish you much love,
Kara