If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

It makes sense that the first step to finding a healthy relationship or rehabbing the one you have is to know what a healthy relationship looks like. What is it that you really want in your relationship? Have you ever really sorted that out? I know I have and even then, I’m continually fine-tuning it as my partner and I grow our intimacy.

I think a healthy relationship is a real partnership where each person helps and supports the other to be exactly who they are meant to be, to help them shine their truest and brightest. There’s a Marianne Williamson quote that I put at the end of all my emails that speaks to this very thing: “The purpose of intimate partnership is for us to midwife the perfection in each other. The point of love is to reveal to us the light inside.” The interesting part of that is how to help each other with that goal and that within each pairing of a man and a woman, the steps will vary depending on the needs of each individual. Also, as a couple moves along the path to becoming their best selves, the ways in which we can help each other will change.

In order to pursue that goal it’s important to understand the roles men and women typically play in a healthy relationship.

If you hate generalizations, you’re not going to like what I’m about to say, but here goes. I believe that women are the natural caretakers of a relationship while men rely on a woman’s instinct to keep a relationship on track. Men will pursue women in the hopes of beginning a relationship, but once they are in the relationship, they look to the woman’s guidance to nurture it.

Each couple should find out if this is how they operate. If it is, then the women would do well to accept this role and not be frustrated by expecting the man to do what seems unnatural to him. Since most men want the woman to take the lead in creating a healthy relationship, why not take it?

One of the most important things a woman can do to raise the quality of her relationship is to use her Feminine Grace in the way she communicates her needs, wants, upsets, frustrations, etc. If she communicates with love and respect, rather than ugly nagging, complaining and belittling, she will be able to make her own light shine more brightly, and in so doing, her husband/partner/boyfriend will be carried along to a higher level. That’s just one example how a woman can take charge and get her goal for a better relationship met.

More on this tomorrow…

With much love,
Kara