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I just finished watching Sleepless in Seatle and at the end Jimmy Durante sings “Make Someone Happy”. Here’s the lyrics:

Make someone happy,
Make just one someone happy;
Make just one heart the heart you sing to.
One smile that cheers you,
One face that lights when it nears you,
One girl you’re ev’rything to.

Fame if you win it,
Comes and goes in a minute.
Where’s the real stuff in life to cling to?
Love is the answer,
Someone to love is the answer.
Once you’ve found her, build your world around her.

Make someone happy,
Make just one someone happy,
And you will be happy, too.

I think one of the reasons so many relationships fail is that people are focused on what they want, rather than what they can give. I often help women determine what qualities they are looking in for a man but sometimes I forget to tell them to make a list of what they are willing to give and what they feel they have to offer a man. It’s a good exercise and one that I think each of us, even if we are in a relationship and married for years, could benefit from doing.

If you are more focused on making your partner happy than on how they can make you happy (or worse, how they are failing to make you happy) then I think most relationships would have a whole lot better chance of success.

Why not make your list right now. Or if you are involved, why not make a game of the two of you making a list and then sharing it. This could be a wonderfully romantic thing to do over wine and cheese in the park. If you do this, would you write back and share how it went?

Good luck,
Kara