I read today that romance is the reason relationships are floundering so badly. I agree that romance sets up unreasonable expectations. So it’s actually not the romance but the expectations that are the curse.
I believe that expectations are a pathway to disappointment. I think romance can be sustained if a couple is able to communicate what they enjoy their partner doing for them, then being extremely appreciative. I hear so many women say, "He ought to know what I like." That’s unfair and downright mean to make him bad and wrong for not being able to read your mind. And men tend to focus on the more practical things. In a loving relationship, he wants you to tell him what he can do to make you happy.
If a couple stays respectful, compassionate, kind, loving, and passionate, they will automatically enjoy making their partner happy. But the moment a woman begins to make demands or demeans her partner, he is very quickly going to pull away in order to protect himself. If a man is disrespectful and takes his woman’s thoughtful deeds for granted, she is going to become resentful.
Once the out-of-control heat of passion dies down, a couple has to have moved to a deeper love to care enough to be romantic. And being romantic is actually just wanting to do things for our partner that makes them happy and feel loved. As long as you enjoy putting a smile on your partner’s face, you’ll be one of those special couples who still enjoys romance, no matter how long you’ve been together.
With much love,
Kara
