I just got back from Tulsa where I celebrated my 40th high school reunion with my fellow school mates. What an eye opening experience. There were several things that stood out but the most significant is this: Back then, I felt invisible. I had my core friends but I was never noticed, or so it seemed, by anyone else, especially the “in crowd”.
It’s funny, I’ve thought about this a lot over the years. In high school is there is the “in crowd” who is at the center of the circle that makes up all the student body. That circle is small compared to the entire number of students. Then, outside of that circle are all the others, watching those in the center. For those of us who were watching, it felt like we were not even a blip on their radar. I talked to several at the reunion and they varified that that was their experience.
As it turns out, I was not invisible. I talked to a lot of people that I would never have had the nerve to talk to in high school. They noticed me but they said I was just so quiet. I could not believe that any of them knew I existed.
The lesson for me is that I made up something that was not true, and did myself a great disservice. I am angry at myself because I could have had a lot more fun if I’d been willing to take the risk of opening my mouth.
Another thing I noticed was that in going through the pictures in the yearbook, those in the middle circle were involved in a lot of organizations and activities. Not all were cheerleaders and football players. They were involved in all kinds of things. But most important is that they all had a lot of things listed below their name. One person said that a college counselor told him that it would help when he applied to a college. I sure wish I’d known that getting involved would have opened doors.
How that impacts my life today is that I need to focus more on what’s really going on around me. I’m great at meeting new people but sometimes I pay too much attention to things that don’t matter or might not be as I perceive them to be. What I plan on doing now is to do more to go after what I want. If I’d done that in high school my life would have been quite different. Not that I haven’t loved my life, but I think I would have figured out how to be happy a whole lot sooner.
If this insight helps even one person that reads this it will be worth sharing what I learned.
With much love,
Kara
