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In a recent post I was going on, like I do, about women who ask men, “Where is this relationship going?” My girlfriend was asking that question of a man she was getting to know after only one month. I told her that she should relax and simply enjoy the ride, that if she was focused on where it was supposed to end up, she would miss out on the best part: the thrill of the unfolding.

I was telling my boyfriend about this recently and he laughed and said, “What if, when she asked, ‘Where is this relationship going?’ the guy responded with, ‘I just want to get laid, that’s where I’m hoping it’s going.’ And that her response could then be, ‘Great, that’s exactly what I was hoping you’d say.’” Now that would be different.

When my boyfriend and I started seeing each other, actually on the phone before we met, he made an unusual request. He was going skiing, which is why we could not meet the first weekend after talking on the phone. He said, “This is maybe a crazy idea, but would you like to go skiing with me.” I started hyperventelating and said that, even though I knew we’d have a wonderful time, and that I love skiing, I didn’t want to force the intimacy and that I thought it best if we just allowed our relationship, wherever it might lead, to simply unfold in its own way, in its own time. That’s what we’ve been doing for over 19 months and it’s the most amazing, magical experience either of us has had. And considering our ages and the vast number of experiences and interesting people we’ve been blessed to enjoy, that’s saying a lot.

So to all of you out there who are getting to know a new potential lover, partner, husband, or wife… relax and enjoy the ride because it’s in the moment that the very best stuff happens.

With much love,
Kara