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A woman called and left an interesting message. She said she needed advice on how to solve your problem of still being alone and wanting to find a man. One thing I noticed in her voice and in the words she used to describe her problem was desperation and fear. Men pick up on that and can actually spot that energy without even talking to a woman.

Men are looking for women who are happy, upbeat, who are obviously enjoying life, and have a positive attitude. They’re looking for women who are smiling, who make others feel good, who have obvious self-confidence, who seem to really like being who they are. They’re attracted to women who have a youthfulness in their body. One doesn’t have to be young to look fit. If a woman is out of shape she becomes kind of invisible. A man might see her but not really notice her. His eyes will pass right over her. Sorry but that’s how it is. Why would a man want a woman who is unhealthy? And guys, this goes for you too. You think you don’t have to look good for us but you’re wrong. We women can tolerate more but those big bellies are pretty much a turn-off.

Advice for any woman looking for a man:

I would recommend you start an exercise program if you are not on one right now. Get your blood flowing so you feel better, more vibrant, and your skin glows. Start weight training. You need it for your bones and to keep your muscles fit so you get the benefit of helping your body and at the same time, looking more fit and youthful. Get a new hair style if you’re not thrilled with what you have now. Get new make-up and have someone show you how to put it on. Be sure it is light and fresh. Not heavy stuff with too much color. Almost all men like the natural look.

To help your attitude and outlook on life put yourself to sleep at night going over all the things you have to be grateful for. If your outlook is a bit negative and you can’t think of anything to be grateful for you can get right down to the basics: Be grateful for your eyes and that you can see the beauty of nature, trees, flowers, animals, the sky, the sunshine, the moon and stars at night. Be grateful for your ears and that you can enjoy the sounds of birds, running water, music, laughter. Be grateful for your nose and all the interesting and delicious smells. Be grateful for your mouth and how much you enjoy great tasting foods. Be grateful for your gift of speech and try to say uplifting things to the people with whom you interact. Be appreciative, complimentary, encouraging. Laugh, tell jokes, be alive.

Be grateful for your hands that can do so much, and that can feel the touch of another. Be grateful that you can walk and skip and get out there and walk and skip. Be grateful for books and for the people who write them, be grateful for everything you can think of and you will start to have a different attitude toward life. People will notice, men will notice and want to find out who you are. It’s all in your control but with a sad demeanor you will have absolutely no chance of meeting a good man.

One more thing… you need to let go of needing to find a man. As long as you are feeling like you are never going to find one, as long as you feel like you have failed, as long as you feel like your life will not be complete without a man, you will chase them all off with your neediness. They want to be needed in that they want you to make them feel like a man who makes you feel like a woman. But when theY sense that you need them because you need their money, or to stop your fears of being alone, they will pick up on that energy and will not want to have anything to do with you.

All of this advice will take a powerful determination to incorporate into a new you. But if you really want to become appealing to more men. I understand that you just want one man, Mr. Right, But finding a man is a numbers game. You need to meet a lot of men to find the one. It is just asking too much of the universe to bring you THE RIGHT MAN and drop him on your doorstep. You are not the only thing that needs attention.

And how’s your sexual energy lately? It’s sad, but when a woman stops having sex, it shows up in her energy. And that, maybe more than anything else, makes you pretty much invisible to men. I would advise that you get out there and truly enjoy the sensual pleasures that your magical body has to offer. I don’t mean go have sex. I mean look at things in a new way. See the beauty around you. Breath in the scents, the sounds, the tastes. Dance every morning to a CD that makes you feel sexy. No one is looking so go for it and move your body. Take all the sensual pleasures in to such a depth that you are thrilled daily by the little pleasures of life. Also, make love to yourself. Yes, I mean exactly what that sounds like. I actually have an article that teaches women how to make love to themselves. It’s called How To Masturbate. You can read it at http://www.alivewithlove.com/sensual/howto.html Guys, it might seem crazy that some women don’t know how to do this, but trust me, it’s amazing how many don’t know much about their bodies. A great reason to masturbate is so you can know exactly what works and then share that much needed information with your sex partner. How in the heck should a man know what to do when the woman doesn’t?

Does all this sound like too much work? Then forget finding a man. Forget being joyful and happy to be alive. Forget about honoring God for all that has been given to you. It’s up to you. Live your life fully, or not. You choose.

With much love,
Kara