June 26, 2006
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Question from a reader:
Hi Kara,
Perhaps I'm the only odd one out of all women who purchased your book. I always treat my man with my feminine grace attitude, I am very unlucky perhaps I meet all the wrong ones. I been married for nearly 10 years I adore my ex-husband I treated him almost the same what you said in your book, but my marriage ended because he couldn't love me. He go back to his ex- girlfriend.
I have 3 years relationship after my divorce I've done everything for this guy, I treat him with full love and respect in return he cheated on me. He ask someone else to moved in with him instead and kicked me out of the house I ended up homeless. I hardly recover with the pain I became very depressed and lost interest in man I couldn't trust anybody.
Last year I met someone, I go out with him because I love him so much, the same thing I treat him with full love and respect. I cook his dinner give him holistic treatment all the good treatment that a woman can offer to a man I give it to him, that's why I bought your book to educate myself a bit more. The more I get closer to him the more he keep his distance. He avoided me completely, he dumped me just before Valentine's Day. I feel very sad and very lonely because I miss him. He ring me sometime just to say how I am! That's all. Can you tell me where I go wrong? Would I ever be happy again? Thanks for reading this email. I feel very disappointed in my life very unfortunate with men.
Regards
M.
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Dear M.,
It sounds like you do too much. My book is about women honoring and respecting themselves. Men said they were most attracted to women who were self-confident, self-assured, and interesting. When a woman does too much for a man, you take away their job of doing for you and making you happy. They get bored, they lose respect, and they get lazy. Some women who do too much tend to be clingy and needy. That really turns a man off. Those are just some ideas that come to mind from what you say about your situation. I hope you find happiness.
You might want to read the chapter on Feminine Grace again. I do not tell women to cater to and wait on their man. The goal is for you to get what you want, not just give him what he wants. You can read that chapter at AliveWithLove.com at http://www.AliveWithLove.com/beauty/feminine.html
Joyfully,
Kara
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all." Helen Keller
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