The most enticing thing we can do when we’re getting to know someone new is listen.

All too often we’re preoccupied with other thoughts, what’s going on in the room around us, or planning what we’re going to say next. It’s also important to remember that the other person is probably as nervous as you are. If you focus on making them feel comfortable and at-ease, you will relax. Most people are uncomfortable around someone who is obviously nervous or insecure so the more confident you are, the more comfortable they will be. To read more about developing confidence, go to the Building Confidence article in the Be More Beautiful section of AliveWithLove.com. When someone listens to us with full attention, we feel special; we feel like they’re interested in us, like we matter. It happens so seldom, and it’s so important, it can actually create an attraction that might not have been there without it.

The most effective way to capture a person’s interest (and learn about them) is to listen, ask them questions about themselves, not say too much about ourselves, and listen some more.

It’s important not to fake interest just because someone is attractive. If they’re not interesting then we’re doing them, and ourselves, a disservice. Not everyone is interesting to everyone else. Women are often guilty of pretending they’re in awe of what a man is saying. Men–older men in particular–like to share their knowledge. I call this kind of man The Professor. They can get going with little encouragement. In the beginning of a relationship, if a woman pretends to be hanging on every word, he can become quite interested in keeping her around. That’s not fair to him, and would be insulting, if he knew. Men shouldn’t fake either.

With much love,
Kara

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 26th, 2006 at 12:19 pm and is filed under Dating, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.