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From a letter to Ms. Magic

Dear Ms. Magic,
Why do I have so many problems with insecurities? Such as showing my husband my naked body or sexual communication with him. He is the opposite.   Jean - female - 41

Dear Jean,
It would be really good for your marriage if you could get over your shyness. One of the things I have learned about men is that the sexiest thing for them is a woman who is comfortable with her body. Body shyness is just old childhood stuff. You can get over it. I'm a real believer in baby-steps and the Nike motto, just do it. You know that book title, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Once you do it enough, almost anything can become easy.

I've always wished I could do a workshop on this very subject where, after some classroom discussions and meditations, I would take a group of women to a nude beach. We would all just sit on our towels for a while, getting used to being around other naked people. They would notice that most bodies are pretty normal, definitely not what you'd find in a magazine of nude photos. Slowly, one piece of clothing at a time, everyone would get naked, sitting there on their towels. The next step would be for them to lay down on their stomachs and feel how nice the sunshine is on their backs. Then, after everyone had gotten used to their behinds being exposed, they would roll over on their backs and enjoy the warm sun on their skin. Next, everyone would sit up and feel themselves becoming part of the community of nude sun bathers. Yes, everyone notices each other's bodies, but not in a gross kind of way. It's kind of the same way we notice what other people are wearing. Unless it's outstanding, we don't think much about it. continued

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