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There is a better way
One of the things I talk about in my book is Feminine Grace. When you learn to use your Feminine Grace, you can be very angry, but in control. That's when you are most empowered because you can communicate clearly and actually be heard. Men respect a woman who keeps it calm, even though she may be very forceful. It's more effective if you can state your issues with "When you... it makes me feel..." Examples might be: "It makes me feel more connected to you when we go out together," or "I feel beautiful when we're out together and I'd like to do more of that," or "When you said that to your sister, I felt embarrassed and humiliated and it made me feel like you wanted to hurt me. That makes me feel less close to you." Then you aren't blaming, but stating how his behavior effects you. To take it even further, you can give him examples of times when he's done it "right" and how it made you feel. He will pay attention and hopefully remember to do it "the good way" next time.

When you find yourself in such an emotional state that you really can't control yourself, then excuse yourself and let loose when you're alone. Swear, kick, scream, whatever you need to do feel it completely. Then, when you are in control once again, you can say what you need to say in a powerful way so you get your point across. The goal is to create more closeness and love, isn't it? And you do want him to hear you, don't you? You can control all your conversations if you slow down and think about what you want the other person to understand about your needs. And at the same time, enjoy the feeling of empowerment. previous

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