The Luxury of Love

Many of our reactions to each other, what attracts us and drives us to want to be with someone of the opposite sex is deeply embedded in our biology and has to do with survival over the eons of time. But today, because survival is not the motivating factor in our lives, we are blessed with the opportunity to fall in love, to pleasure each other with romantic gestures and to want a love that endures and deepens over time.

When survival was the motivating factor in a couple marrying and creating a family, there weren’t the complications of dating. Even today, many cultures still have arranged marriages where the most important factors are political, economic and whether or not the woman seems to have baby-making potential. But in many cultures, like here in the U.S., it’s a lot of work to find someone with whom there is a mutual attraction and even more work to keep that love and attraction alive over time. One thing that can really help people have greater success is to know each other better. It is estimated that 83% of divorces could be prevented if couples asked each other the right questions. For a list of the most important questions to ask, click here.

Most of our role models for modern relationships are from movies and television. With divorce, kids don’t have any kind of roll model of how it might be to have a home with loving parents. So we are making it up as we go, and it’s pretty obvious that we’re not doing a very good job. One of the best ways to stay “in love” is to create triggers that help us let go of the petty grievances and stay focused on the qualities that attracted us in the first place.

During some quiet time, write a description of the man you fell in love with. Focus on the things that you most admire, the things that made you tingle at the thought of him, the things you did together, and the things he did to you. Bring back the feelings you had when you were falling in love with him and you couldn’t keep your mind off of him. Unless he’s changed and is mistreating you, you can re-ignite those feelings of love. Think of the strongest trigger for you and lock that in as the thing that you will think about when you begin to get angry or frustrated at him, especially when it’s over petty things. I always think about how my husband looked during our wedding ceremony. Melts my heart every time.

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship or a perfect man or woman. But there is such a thing as love and it doesn’t have to die. But like any fire, if it doesn’t get tended, watched over, given more fuel to burn, it will go out. Love isn’t that easy to come by, especially love so strong that we actually want to marry someone. So how sad, when that love dies, especially if it is mostly because the relationship became less important than the job, the house, the social life, the shopping. Without love, life is lacking, like hearing a favorite love song, and having no one to ask to dance.

So make that list. Feel the feelings of love as you remember in vivid color, feel the emotions, and enjoy reliving the beginning of your love. Then share your best memories with your partner. Better yet, ask him to make a list of his own, then, on a special date or weekend away, share your memories. And don’t be surprised that you have new memories to share.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

Never Diminish Yourself For Any Man

 

I was just watching an older woman (at least 75) and her husband. She was enthusiastically pointing at something, wanting to share with her husband. When he ignored her, she turned to follow him, her head down, obviously feeling bad for not being acknowledged. Watching her brought tears to my eyes.

She’s from an era where this is the norm, not the exception. It points to one of the primary reasons women enjoy each other’s company over men. We all want 3 things: To be loved; to be appreciated; to be seen and accepted for who we are. That old traditional way that men and women have coupled leaves little room for any of those.

If one is not interested in truly seeing the other, especially if the other is perceived as silly or inconsequential, love cannot exist. What holds that kind of couple together is companionship, security and simple habit.

Don’t let this happen to you. No man and no relationship is worth allowing your spirit to be diminished in any way. It’s not easy, but we need to speak up for ourselves, to tell our partner when we are being hurt, rejected or insulted. You know how it feels when you allow those things to slip by, trying your best to not to feel hurt. But it does hurt and each time we let it go, we send the message that it’s okay to be treated disrespectfully. When that happens, we lose respect for ourselves and our partner loses respect for us.

Whatever feelings of attraction brought you together dies a little each time we do not stand up for ourselves. Don’t allow anything less than what you feel you deserve. It’s up to you to determine what you deserve. Life is too short and too precious to live that way. Do everything in your power to reveal your true self so your light can shine bright. It’s the number one way to honor yourself and God. That’s true Feminine Grace. To learn what Feminine Grace is, and how to use it to expand your happiness, you’ll want to discover the Secrets about men revealed in Men Made Easy. It’s the key to a happy, healthy and fulfilling relationship.

And find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three at KaraOh.com

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

 

Should He Tell You What He’s Doing?

A woman wrote recently to ask my advice about what to say to her guy about his not telling her what he was going to be doing. Her concern was not wanting to wait for him. I’m afraid I gave her more than she bargained for.

My advice: If you don’t have a date set, with a time, say nothing. He is a free individual and can do anything he wants. He shouldn’t have to tell you where he is and what he’s doing. You either trust him or you don’t. If you don’t it’s either because you have trust issues, or he’s untrustworthy. If you have trust issues, you need to work on those before you’re in a relationship. If he’s untrustworthy, you should not be with him.

I hope that all makes sense. One of the reasons men leave the women they are dating is they lose their freedom. Men shouldn’t have to lose their freedom. Watch this video to hear my wise friend discuss this topic: What Does Commitment Mean To a Man.

And did you see my comedy show? I make a joke about women wanting to get a man to “behave.” If you are offended by the “F” word, don’t watch it!: How To Get a Man To Behave.

I hope this advice helps. The bottom line is, if you have to work to get him to behave, then there’s a problem. Women generally try to get men to behave, and men want their freedom. That’s why it’s so important to develop Feminine Grace because a big part of it is looking in the mirror and looking at our behavior, our responses and reactions to people and situations.

Either a man is enhancing our lives, or they’re not. If they’re not, we need to look at why we think they’re not. Are we being reasonable and respectful of his need to be his own person, or is he truly being disrespectful.

If he’s being disrespectful, he might not realize it. That’s when we can say something like this, “You probably didn’t mean it, but when you did (or said) http://www.alivewithlove.com. it made me feel http://www.alivewithlove.comhttp://www.alivewithlove.com I just wanted to let you know.” Then see how he responds. If he apologizes and says that’s not what I meant, then you can have a calm UNEMOTIONAL discussion about how you can find balance with your need to control him, and his need for freedom.

If you want to learn how to communicate with men so you can get more of what you want from him, be sure and get Men Made Easy. And get 3 Free ebooks so you can determine if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

The Key To His Heart and Your Happiness

 

The Feminine Grace is the foundation of everything I teach. It is what causes a woman to be truly happy. It’s actually the key to enjoying more fully every aspect of your life.

We think we’re our own person, able to choose how we live our lives. But a lot of how and why we make the choices we do has to do with our culture. The culture of our family is the strongest influence because it’s our whole world during those first formative years. But a lot of how the culture of a family is created has to do with conforming to what is expected, what helps us fit in and what is considered proper behavior.

Lots of what makes up our culture is good and helps us be responsible, productive and self-sufficient. But one thing I’ve been able to watch take shape is how the Feminist Movement has impacted our culture. I was in my 20’s when it began. Females born at that time now know nothing else. It did some good in our society but it is, in my opinion, the primary reason people have such difficulty creating and sustaining satisfying and fulfilling relationships.

Women have been taught they don’t need men. And to back this up, men tell me all the time, “Why do women even want us around?” As I explain in my book, Men Made Easy, more than just about anything, a man needs to feel needed.

When a woman is fully connected to, and able to celebrate her femininity and her womanness, she can enjoy needing a man without feeling diminished in any way. The cornerstone of all I teach is Feminine Grace. In that state a woman can discover her magnificence, her true source of beauty and her joy. When a woman is able to dance with her glorious woman energy, fully and freely, she becomes the kind of woman a man will treasure.

What I teach is how to cause a man to fall madly in love with you (even a love that has gone dormant) and worship the ground you walk on because he feels utterly grateful that you are his woman. There is no room for a wimpy woman in this scenario. The only way a woman can get this is when she discovers that Feminine Grace is her true power base. Some woman know it naturally but most do not. I’m living proof that it can be learned.

To learn about Feminine Grace, get Men Made Easy and discover how wonderful it feels. And if you want to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince, or all three, sign up to receive my 3 FREE ebooks here.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

 

There Was Chemistry. What Happened?

A woman wrote to me explaining that she’d been on a few dates and thought it was going great. Fun conversations, good time, kissing and a bit of petting, but no sex yet. She definitely felt strong chemistry. Then, wham, he wrote and said he wasn’t that attracted to her.

My advice:

I know it feels awful. But the other side of the hurt is, “Thank goodness you didn’t get more deeply involved.” If he isn’t attracted enough, or just wanted sex, then it’s good that he showed his true colors early on. But the fact that you attracted him should tell you that your energy is attractive. That always feels great. Focus on the fact that this was just a stepping stone to the right man.

Get out some of your favorite music and dance. You’ll for sure feel better!

If you want to learn the Secrets about men that will help you attract a great guy, check out Men Made Easyright now. You need to know what’s going on in that head of his.

And if you want to figure out if a man is a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, you’ll want to get my three free ebooks at KaraOh.com.

 

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

 

How Do You Know When He’s “The One?”

I got an email from a young woman who is twenty-one. She was dumped by a guy she she thought was “The One.” She asked how you can know if a guy is “The One.”Here’s what I told her: I think they all need to feel like “The One” so we can give our hearts over completely. That’s when we can feel deeply and then learn whatever lessons that person brings to our lives.

With each person, we grow and learn more and more about ourselves, about what we want, and how to communicate. Eventually, we grow into the person who can attract the person who will be mature enough to create a lasting relationship.

If you want to know what to do when you meet “The One,” you definitely need to know my Secrets about men. Learn about Men Made Easy right here.

And if you want to know if a man is a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, go to KaraOh.com and register to download my three free ebooks.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

 

7 Ways To Avoid Getting Hurt

I was at a conference of academics and I was talking to a woman about what I do. She told me about a very smart woman who teaches finance, very accomplished, many awards and lots of respect from her peers. But, she said, this very smart women just turns stupid when it comes to men.

Why do we do that?

I think it’s because most of what we know comes to us from outside influences; like fairy tales, love-at-first-site-happily-ever-after-with-no-problems-EVER movies and novels, lame advice from friends, stupid, and inane articles in most women’s magazines. and no tools to know how to do it any different.

So here are 7 ways to avoid getting hurt:

• Don’t take it personallyhttp://www.alivewithlove.comhttp://www.alivewithlove.com any of it
• Don’t get physical too soonhttp://www.alivewithlove.com. it muddles the brain
• Don’t lose yourself, stay centered, breathe deeply
• Don’t try to guess “what did he mean when he did (said) that”
• Enjoy each date, then go about doing your life well
• If he calls, finehttp://www.alivewithlove.com. if not, go about your life, refer to #1
• Don’t get emotionally attached until he does

Easier said than done, but if you look at this list on a regular basis, maybe you’ll keep your wits about you and enjoy dating a whole lot more. If you really want to date smart, I have several programs that will help you attract a terrific man and get him to fall in love with you because you’re like no other woman he’s met. And learn to know if a man is a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince, or all three by downloading my three free ebooks here.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

How To Stop Worrying About Your Relationship

Do you ever worry that he’ll hurt you like your last boyfriend or husband? Or that he’ll leave? Or you’re jealous for no reason?

When you feel like you have no control over your fearful or negative thoughts, it’s easy for them to start controlling you. And when that happens, you’ll usually sabotage your relationship.

You may try to stop thinking of those things that pop in your head, but it doesn’t work that way. Instead, you need to replace them with a a different thought.

To do this, do a Relaxation Meditation, which you can download here. When you get completely relaxed, imagine how good it feels to be loved by him. Imagine it so clearly that you feel those same feelings in your body, as if you were in his presence and he just did something very loving. Lock these feelings into your body as an anchor of how you think of him.

Then, when you have those thoughts or feelings of fear, remind yourself of this anchor and allow those nice feelings of being loved settle into your body. It will take some effort, but eventually, the new anchored feelings will be what will come to you when you think about him or are in his presence. This is a wonderful tool for any time you wish to change your habits of thinking.

And find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog a Princehttp://www.alivewithlove.com.or all three right here.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

He’s Not Ready for a Relationship

Have you ever had a man tell you he likes you, enjoys dating you, but isn’t ready for a relationship right now? I get letters from women all the time who are upset when the man they’re dating delivers this message. Usually, the woman paints him as a villain, when he’s actually just being honest.

A man can be a good guy without wanting the long term relationship. The big question I always ask is, “Are you intending to make babies?” If not, why not just enjoy this man and see where it goes.

Women tend to be hung up on a relationship needing to ‘move to the next level.’ But what if just being together and enjoying each other IS the next level? If you want to get married, can you give a clear answer to why? So often, we want things simply because we’ve taught to want them, not because it’s what our heart desires.

Get very clear about what you REALLY want, and why. Then, if you honestly need to know his long term intentions ‘right now,’ then this is not the man for you. If you’re willing to allow things to unfold in their own way, in their own time, you could be surprised at how much you enjoy the journey.

And remember, even when we have that commitment and the promises, there are no guarantees that they’re going to last. Even with marriage and children, there are no guarantees.

What I notice is women are not able to enjoy that unfolding, because they’re so focused on what is ‘supposed to be,’ and worried about ‘where is this going.’

If you want to raise the possibility that a man is going to want to be in a long term relationship with you, because the thought of losing you is too great, then you’ll want to not only learn the Secrets about men revealed in Men Made Easy, but you’ll also how to use these Secrets to create a relationship like you’ve never had beforehttp://www.alivewithlove.com.one that makes you toes curl and your heart sing.

And find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog a Princehttp://www.alivewithlove.com.or all three right here.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

Having Trouble Getting Him To Behave?

 

I put this commonly mentioned phrase in my book Men Made Easy because it’s so true: Men marry a woman hoping she’ll never change, but she always does; and women marry men hoping they will change, but they never do.

Women make themselves crazy trying to get a man to change, to behave, or to ‘do the right thing.’ When you think about it it’s unbelievably rude and arrogant to think we have a right to tell someone else how they should be, or that we know better.

The only thing we have a right to request is how they treat us. If they are rude, disrespectful, hurtful or whatever else, we can and SHOULD speak up. Otherwise, who are we to think we know what’s best for someone else. But women do this to their husbands and boyfriends all the time.

If men did to women what women do to men in this regard, they would not tolerate it. It does happen, there are plenty of controlling men, but overall, women do it much more.

It’s always helpful to step back and watch your behavior from outside. Doing this allows us to see the bigger picture, how our actions look and feel to the other person. This is not easy, but an important part of Feminine Grace (introduced in Men Made Easy) is to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Imagine how it feels to him to have you trying to change or control him?

It’s amazing how ugly women can be without realizing it. It’s not our place to change or try to control another person. If he needs to be different than what and how he is for you to be happy with him, either you need to walk away, or you need to change. That’s the only way.

The most influential factor in all this is that women tend to focus on turning dating into a relationship way too soon. When this happens, there’s usually a time when she starts trying to get him to be what she needs him to be. The smarter thing to do is to allow the getting acquainted time to last longer. It takes several months for a couple to relax to the point where they begin to show their true colors.

If you relax and allow a new relationship to unfold in it’s own way, in it’s own time, then you can see more clearly when it’s working or not working. It’s much better to walk away when it’s not a good fit, rather than wasting time trying to make something work that never will.

Instead of getting involved with a man who you need to change, it’s better to know more clearly what you are looking for, so you don’t waste time on the wrong man. My program, From Mr. Wrong To Mr. Right will help you do just that. And be sure and get three free ebooks so you can determine if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

 

The Ultimate Christmas Gift For Your Man

 

You may not realize it, but more than anything, that special man in your life wants to feel like you appreciate, respect, and accept him for who he is as a man. With that he’ll feel understood and understanding is–at least for him–the ultimate gift you can give him.

Here’s an idea for a gift that is sure to melt his heart. You can put as much effort into it as you like. He won’t get all mushy and teary eyed, but he will appreciate what you will be telling him with this gift.

For married women:

He wants to make you happy, to be a good provider, and be your rock, so letting him know all the ways he’s accomplishing that is a better gift than anything else you can give him.

This will be a true Care Package, like he’s never had before. Men aren’t “into” gifts like women are but this is a gift he’ll treasure because he’ll know that you really do understand what makes him tick. The benefit to you is it costs hardly anything and he just might transform into that romantic, starry-eyed prince that you fell in love with.

For single women:

If you’re single and wish to do something that will make your boyfriend feel like, “Hey, this is an amazing woman that I’d be a fool to lose,” you’ll want to give him this gift. No other woman will have given him anything like this before. Guaranteed!

For moms with kids:

If you have kids, this is a project you can do together (mostly) that will show your love and appreciation. And the kids will see their dad in a new light and love and respect him all the more.

Materials you’ll need:

1. Writing instrument – pen, pencil or colored markers
2. Paper – plain, fancy or colored
3. Magazines
4. Container – choose a box or a basket, tube, stocking, coffee mug, tool box, fishing tackle box, etc. Be creative and use something that he’ll enjoy later.

You can get nice paper and make lists, you can use poster board and write on them with colored markets, or you can use poster board and cut out images and words from magazines to make a collage.

The six gifts of understanding:

1) Make a list of all the qualities that you most admire about him. Examples: He’s honest, hard-working, helpful, intelligent, handsome, etc.

Men sometimes feel like they’re just a wallet, someone to take out the trash, or the one who kills spiders. This gift will let him know that you see who he really is and that he’s an important part of your life.

2) Make a list of the masculine things about him that you like best. Examples: He’s strong, he makes you feel protected, he’s a great lover, he’s intelligent, his big strong arms, etc.

Everything a man does points back to what kind of MAN he is. Your guy is no different. Men can be a lot of work to have around, but there are things about men that even our best girlfriends can’t offer. What is it about your guy that causes you to see him as the “man” you wanted to share your life with?

3) Make a list of all the ways you nag him and at the bottom, promise to quit doing so. (The kids can skip this one, unless they’re older and have gotten in the habit of just seeing dad as a source of money or transporation.)

In poll after poll men have said what they like least about women is nagging and complaining. Partly because it tells him constantly that he’s falling short of being a good man for you. He “needs” to make you happy and solve your problems so if when you do these things, you’re telling him he’s failing you as a man.

It also is really unattractive and, let’s face it, if you’re not attractive to him, he loses interest. Besides, if you nag and complain enough, he sees you as a bottomless pit that can’t ever be satisfied and he gets worn out and either leaves emotionally (into the paper, TV, work, other women or drugs and alcohol) or physically in divorce. The irony is that we all know that nagging and complaining doesn’t work.

4) Make a list of all the things he does for you that make you happy. Examples: He brings home a paycheck, he takes you out to the movies, he helps with the dishes, he picks up the kids after school, he buys you flowers, he’s an attentive lover, he gives great hugs, etc.

Men are actually driven to make women happy. It has to do with the primal drive to be a good hunter. Providing meat was the most important thing he did because it meant his family would survive a little longer. Talk about putting a smile on his “woman’s” face. Well, men admit that, more than anything, they feel fulfilled as men when their woman is happy. It means they’re doing a good job of being “the man.”

5) Make a list of the reasons you respect him. Examples: He’s a good provider, he’s a good father, he’s honest, he’s admired by others, etc.

Men need to feel like they’re measuring up to other men. Respect is the most important measure of a man. Yes, a man could be rich and powerful but if he’s not respected, it’s meaningless.

6) Make some “naughty” coupons that he can redeem whenever he wants. (Obviously, this is not for the kids.) Examples: This coupon is good for a Saturday night seduction; this coupon good for a little whipped cream to be licked off very slowly; this coupon good for a slow, sensuous massage; etc.

For most men, the only way they know how to be intimate is sexually. When you first fell in love you probably kissed for hours and couldn’t get enough of each other. Well, why not spark him up and let him know you’d like to enjoy the “pleasure” of his company.

Note: When you make your lists be sure and include those things that you know he likes and admires about himself. And if you want to get really creative, include examples of why you put each item on your lists. As a follow-up to the written lists, some verbal appreciation would be a perfect way to “tie a bow” on his Ultimate Gift.

If you’d like to take this gift further, and completely transform your relationship, you’ll want to learn the Secrets About Men that are revealed in Men Made Easy. And you can get 3 free ebooks that will help you know if your guy is a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three right here.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

 

Is He Stringing You Along?

Too many women write to me explaining that their ex keeps in frequent contact, want’s to hang out, and even, occasionally, makes a booty call. This is very unhealthy behavior, on both sides. Him for doing it, and the woman for allowing it.

If this has happened (or it’s currently going on), he’s got you on a tether. He won’t let go so you can find someone else, and he strings you along JUST enough to keep your hopes up. This is not good for you because it keeps you in a state of hopeful limbo.

It’s important in this kind of situation to set some boundaries. You’re being a doormat and there’s no way he can respect you for accepting the crumbs he tosses your way. And there’s no way you can respect yourself. You know this is not good, but you’re ever hopeful that he’ll come back.

There’s another aspect about this that both men and women do to each otherhttp://www.alivewithlove.com.”I don’t want you, but I don’t want anyone else to have you eitherhttp://www.alivewithlove.com.plus, if I decide I want you back, there you are.”

To get over someone you need at least two months of no communication and not even hearing their voice. No, it’s not easy, but once you move past the attachment, you’re free to find someone who will be thrilled to have you as their girlfriend, and doesn’t make you wonder and wait.

There’s a reason I have dedicated the last dozen years to helping women understand how men are different than women. When you fully embrace and honor those differences, your relationships with men will transform. You can learn how to understand men with the secrets about men in Men Made Easy. If you want to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, go to KaraOh.com and sign up to receive my 3 free ebooks.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

Just for Fun!

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Why is This Happening to Me?

 

“The spiritual path is a process of clearing away everything that is not you, clearing away the blocks to love.”

Sharon Gardner
Unfolding Journey

There are times in each of our lives when we throw up our hands and ask why me? Many get bogged down in frustration, anger, and blaming of others, God or themselves. Unfortunately, if those feelings take hold they overshadow the positive that lies within each experience.

One of the most important cornerstones of my spiritual beliefs is that if it is happening, it is supposed to be happening, or it wouldn’t be happening. And the worst the experience is, the more painful or heartbreaking, the greater the lessons to be learned. With this view of the “bad” things that happen, it softens the pain.

When I was going through the horrible experience of the break-up of my 27 year marriage, I kept asking for help in sorting out the lessons that were there to be mined, like veins of gold. Because I stayed open to the lessons that were hidden in each tear-filled experience, I was able to grow into a much happier, more fulfilled woman than I could have imagined or hoped for. I have thanked my ex husband many times for giving me those painful lessons that turned out to be the greatest blessings of my life.

Are you, or have you recently had a painful experience? What did you learn about yourself and how are you a better person? If you don’t know, then you have some work to do. Maybe you did something ten years ago and have been blaming yourself ever since. Do you talk about it as a mistake? There is no such thing as a mistake if you learn the lesson. Sometimes you have to go back to get the lessons, but they are there, waiting for you to sort them out.

To discover the lessons, all you have to do is ask yourself what you are supposed to learn; how can you become a better, stronger, happier person; and what can you do to keep from having to go through that again. Often, all you need to do is garner the lesson and you will not have to experience that kind of pain again.

So the next time you find yourself in the middle of a painful experience, allow your sense of humor to enter and realize that it’s just another A.F.L.E. (Another Fucking Learning Experience.) I don’t want to offend anyone, but it’s effective to just say it!. It’s amazing how helpful that can be.

There’s a reason I have dedicated the last dozen years to helping women understand how men are different than women. When you fully embrace and honor those differences, your relationships with men will transform. You can learn how to understand men with the secrets about men in Men Made Easy. If you want to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, go to KaraOh.com and sign up to receive my 3 free ebooks.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

 

He’ll Propose When He’s Ready…and Not Before

A women wrote to me with the following: I am in relation for last 4 years. He loves me, cares about me, and says he wants to spend his whole life with me. But he is not ready to get engaged and that kills me. I have tried alot to change his mind but I’ve failed. He says he still needs time. If he loves me then what’s the reason stoping him from engagement?

Here’s my response to her and any woman who is trying to push a man into marriage:

You will for sure push him away if you keep trying to get him to ask you to marry him. He will do it when he’s ready, and not before. If you keep pushing, he will realize you are not the right women for him and walk away.

You must understand that he sees marriage as a very serious decision. There is not the romantic fantasy that women see it to be. For him, it means he is taking on the financial responsibility for another adult, and if you’re young, any children you might have. Yes, you work. But he knows that as the wife, you might decide not to work. He takes that as a huge responsibility. And he also sees marriage as being willing to take on the responsibility of your emotional well being and happiness. it’s HUGE for him.

So stop bothering him. Stop making it mean something that he is waiting. You will become an ugly woman to him if you keep pushing him. Just step back and allow things to unfold in their own way, in their own time. It will be much sweeter for you both when he finally comes to the decision on his own. You can’t get him to do it sooner than he’s ready, so stop trying.

There’s a reason I have dedicated the last dozen years to helping women understand how men are different than women. When you fully embrace and honor those differences, your relationships with men will transform. You can learn how to understand men with the secrets about men in Men Made Easy. If you want to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, go to KaraOh.com and sign up to receive my 3 free ebooks.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

You’re Ready To Get Married, But He Isn’t… What’s Going On?

“Often a man gives up his dreams: dreams of being a bachelor and dreams of the work he desires. Not only is he giving that up, but, if marriage and family have been your priority, you’re getting your dreams fulfilled.”    Men Made Easy

We laugh and joke all the time about how men don’t want to get married. But men do get marriedhttp://www.alivewithlove.com.all the time; two and a half million of them every year. And how many adult men (who are straight) do you know who have never been married? Hardly any. But there is some truth to the jokes because men do seem to drag their heels and put it off as long as possible.

At the core of this issue is how differently men and women view marriage. For starters, most women are preparing to get married from day one, when they first fell in love with their daddy. Didn’t you and your friends pretend wedding? By contrast, how many little boys were playing wedding? For women, getting married is a dream-come-true; the culmination of the fantasy that began the first time they heard a fairy tale with a prince in it. Isn’t that what princes are for, to whisk the beautiful maiden off to his castle to live happily-ever-after? Sure, some of you are into your careers and postponing marriage, but if you follow any conversation between women, eventually they’ll get around to talking about men and their relationships with men.

In my research for my book, I discovered the two reasons that a man doesn’t get married:

1. He’s not ready.
2. You’re not the right one.

That’s it, there only two. You could be the right one, but if he’s not ready, he’s very likely to let you go. He may come back, but by then, you’ve continued with your quest and found a man who is ready. You see, men don’t fantasize about getting married. They know it will happen one day, as part of the process of growing up. But they usually don’t want to rush it unless they’re the type that lives in the moment and doesn’t pay much attention to the consequences of their actions. Most men are outward; they set and achieve goals, solve problems, accomplish things in the world. They don’t sit around and daydream about what life will be like when they’re married. They’re too focused on being successful and creating security for the future. It’s the hunter instinct. Plan ahead and make sure everyone is safe and well-fed. If either of those things aren’t handled, he’s considered a failure. Not okay for a hunter. That’s why most men need to have a secure, stable job before they “take the plunge.”

So when a man gets old enough to think maybe he should start considering settling down, getting married and having a family, it’s a nuts-and-bolts decision, not a fantasy-come-true. Yes, he likes being married, likes the home a wife creates, his stature that grows among his peers and in his community and the stability it brings. But he also sees marriage as the time he gives up his freedom.

Freedom to come and go as he pleases, to have sex with lots of beautiful women (his fantasy, by the way), and to focus on his career and himself. The biggest challenge, however, is the decision to take on the economic and emotional responsibility of another adult (you) and however many children the two of you have. For him, it’s all about needing to be a good enough provider to take care of your needs, a house, two cars, and the expenses that grow as children grow. This is huge for most men. That’s why, even though he may not want to even consider not having you in his life, he can’t seem to get the proposal out of his mouth, or if he does, he breaks the engagement, too overwhelmed with what it means to take on all of those responsibilities.

What does all this mean for you? Mostly, you get to feel what’s going on for him and how different his view of marriage is from yours. But even more, he now knows you understand what he’s going through, and that you won’t pressure him, at least for a while, so he can prepare himself for what he says he wantshttp://www.alivewithlove.com.to be married to you, the women he loves. This will make you indispensable to him because, more than anything he needs to feel understood. If he’s the right one, give him time, let him know you support him in what he has to go through, give him the understanding that he craves and he’ll think you’re the most amazing woman on the planet.

There’s a reason I have dedicated the last dozen years to helping women understand how men are different than women. When you fully embrace and honor those differences, your relationships with men will transform. You can learn how to understand men with the secrets about men in Men Made Easy. If you want to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, go to KaraOh.com and sign up to receive my 3 free ebooks.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

The Pathway To Expanding Love

 

More love and happiness for you; that’s my motivation in everything I do. Because we all come from diverse backgrounds, when we connect with another, all those old habits and perspectives come with us.

We call it baggage, but it’s not necessarily that it’s negative, it’d sometimes just different. Consequently, when we interact with each other, it’s easy to misunderstand and misinterpret what they mean.

A wonderful way to improve your relationship is to consider what it feels like to be in their shoes. But better than simply imagining, ask. Ask them, “How does that feel to you,” or, “What’s it like when I say that to you,” or “Can you describe why you reacted that way? I want to understand.”

When we tell them we want to understand things from their perspective, the guardedness dissipates. Maybe not completely, but enough to open to new levels of intimacy. I remember a workshop facilitator explaining that one meaning of intimacy as, “Into Me I See.”

Sharing who we are, feeling seen, acknowledged and accepted for who we are is what we all crave. When we can give that to our partner, love flows out like a babbling brook. It’s one of the best feelings possible.

There’s a reason I have dedicated the last dozen years to helping women understand how men are different than women. When you fully embrace and honor those differences, your relationships with men will transform. You can learn how to understand men with the secrets about men in Men Made Easy. If you want to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, go to KaraOh.com and sign up to receive my 3 free ebooks.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

 

Join me on the Web!

• Twitter
• Facebook
• YouTube
• LipSmackinLove.tv
• AliveWithLove.com

 

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time to offer thanks, of family gatherings and holiday meals. A time of turkeys, stuffing, and pumpkin pie. A time to reflect on just what is important in our lives and what, and who, we are grateful for.

This Thanksgiving I wish you all a very happy, satisfying and safe holiday. I am grateful for each and every one of you!

From my heart to yours,

Kara Oh

What To Do With His Funky Mood

When a man is in a bad mood, withdrawn, sad, or whatever, a woman’s tendency is to want to support and nurture him. Women do this to other women and it’s welcomed. But when you do it to a man, he wants nothing to do with it.

Men process their feelings and emotions differently than women do. They want to think things through, or sometimes to suppress what they’re feeling. Let them. As author John Grey says, let him go to his cave. When he’s ready, he’ll come out, with the mood usually gone.

When he does come out, don’t try to talk to him about it. If he wants to talk, he will. Otherwise, he’ll think you’re prying into an area you don’t belong. DO NOT take it personally. It’s simply his way of dealing with his inner thoughts and feelings.

“But I want to help him,” you say. Well, DON’T. When a man goes into a dark mood, it’s best to let him know you’re there if he needs you, but that you’ll give him time and space to work it through. Don’t try to lift him out of it, because that is you not honoring where he is.

If you’re in a bad mood, I doubt that you want someone to tell you how to be. When you try to give him the same support you would a woman, he will perceive it as you trying to tell him how he should deal with what’s going on. He doesn’t need the conversation, holding, agreement, commiserate, etc. that you do.

There’s a reason I have dedicated the last dozen years to helping women understand how men are different than women. When you fully embrace and honor those differences, your relationships with men will transform. You can learn how to understand men with the secrets about men in Men Made Easy. If you want to find out if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three, go to KaraOh.com and sign up to receive my 3 free ebooks.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

Feminine Grace

This video was posted by my friend, Scott Clark, of RocketRadio in Enid, Oklahoma, near Tulsa, my old high school stomping ground. This song and the way they’ve done the video is the perfect antithesis of Feminine Grace. If you don’t know what Feminine Grace is, in a nutshell, it’s about BEING (not just looking) beautiful. If you’re BEING ugly, your man will stop loving you. He may not leave, but his heart will freeze over.

Enjoy!

Pay attention to how you treat everyone, not just your husband or boyfriend. If you’re BEING ugly, it’s pretty certain he’s repulsed.

Get my three free ebooks about men and discover if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it.  Click Here.

Should You Stay Or Should You Go?

When you’re struggling with whether or not you should continue to date someone, here are some tests you can do on your situation so you can more effectively step away from your feelings and tap in to your inner wisdom. You already know the answers but our emotions, shoulds, other’s expectations, time invested, etc. can color our ability to know what’s best for us.

1. Ask this question: Is this a man you would want as the father of your children? This question takes the emotion out of it and causes us to be very smart about what is the best choice.
2. Do a Ben Franklin: On a piece of paper, draw a vertical line down the middle. On the left side write all the things about him that make you happy. On the right side, write all the things that make you unhappy. With each item, preferably in a light meditation, ask how each one makes you feel. Write it down. You will know if this is what you really want.
3. Ask yourself: If this is the way it will be the whole time I am with this man, do I really want this relationship?
   You only know how it is now and you don’t know if it is going to change. Something to consider seriously.
4. Do the Rocking Chair Test: Imagine sitting on your front porch in your rocking chair. You’re very old, at the end of your life. Think about how you would feel if you stayed with this manhttp://www.alivewithlove.com.then think about how you feel if you decided to leave.

It’s amazing how helpful it is to separate ourselves from it through time to get a clearer sense of what to do.

Get my three free ebooks about men and discover if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

How to Seduce a Man

What I mean by seduction is not to strip off his clothes and jump him. Rather, it’s the subtle dance of love that is so delicious. It’s this dance that can cause a man to fall in love with you and know he’s found the woman of his dreams.There’s a reason the call it the ‘art of seduction.’

The reason a man falls in love is how you make him feel about himself. He wants to enjoy being a man. Part of that is having to work to earn your attention, your affection, then your love. If you think seduction means to fall into bed and give yourself to him without any effort on his part, you’re probably not having much luck finding a man with which to build a long term relationship.

To seduce him, let him know:

• How amazing he makes you feel,
• How good it feels to be with him,
• How beautiful, womanly, sexy–if it fits–he makes you feel,
• You noticed that he’s smart, strong, whatever he likes about himself,
• How safe and protect he makes you feel,
• What an amazing kisser he is,
• How he makes you weak in the kneeshttp://www.alivewithlove.com.

These types of things will make him feel ten feet tall. But they need to be sincere, and appropriate for what is going on. Basically, simply pay attention, and when he does something, let him know how it makes you feel.

Be appreciative when he calls, be happy to see him, be grateful for the plans he makes to take you out, show you a good time, treat you specialhttp://www.alivewithlove.com. These are the ways a woman seduces a man. When you do these things naturally, you will have well developed Feminine Grace (which I introduce in Men Made Easy), and that is what men are drawn to, and never want to lose.

Get my three free ebooks about men and discover if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

Men and Love – How Men Fall In Love

In my hundreds of interviews with men, I’ve come to the conclusion that men love more deeply than women and that it’s a more profound experience for them.

The reason I believe this is because most men are brought up to stuff down their feelings, particularly if they are considered feminine feelings. By the time they’re in middle school, they’ve learned to numb their feelings so well that they don’t even know they’re there any longer.

But love is such a big emotion when it hits them, that they are almost overwhelmed with the immensity of it. It cannot be ignored or denied. And because it’s so huge, they barely know what to do with it. When a man feels true love, the woman they love is a thing to treasure and they are almost in awe of what is happening.

In comparison, love for women is wrapped up in a lot of other emotions, fantasies, wishes fulfilled, joy, excitement, anticipation, futuring, planning, etc. So it gets diluted among all the other things that go along with it. We feel it deeply, but it’s not the huge, earthshaking experience that can hardly be put to words that it is to a man. And often, when men feel it, they DON’T put it to words because they are just in it.

Men don’t want or need to talk about their feelings. Women do. Men don’t need to put it to words because love simply makes them want to act on it by being with the woman they love. One of my twelve Secrets about men is, “Men show love through action.”

If you can understand this very important difference between men and women, you can relax and enjoy his way of experiencing and expressing love, rather than dampening his feelings by insisting that he express it they way you do. You’ll both be happier, love is free to grow and flourish.

Get my three free ebooks about men and discover if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.

The Best Time to Make Babies

I was recently having a discussion with my daughter-in-law about the decision to make babies. It amazes me that there are tons of tests to be taken, degrees to be earned, permits to be gotten, and licenses to be applied for to do just about anything in our society. But when it comes to the most important thing two people can do–making babies–it requires no knowledge or skill sets. Not that I’m suggesting that there be more interference in our lives from government. But it’s the contrast that screams so loudly.

Raising children is the supreme activity in our society because it is the children who will grow up and become tomorrow’s adults. Adults who can either be an addition to society or a burden and worse, a scourge. Sadly, most babies are conceived as an accident in a moment of passion. That’s fine when the two people are in a committed, long-term relationship. But we all know that even then, the babies often come at inopportune times. Either it’s too soon, there isn’t yet financial stability, the woman can’t stay home with the baby, or the couple hasn’t had time to fully enjoy their new marriage. Having children is a huge undertaking and the state of parenthood should be entered into with a great deal of forethought, at least ideally.

But all too often pregnancy is an accident, as in my case. I was nineteen, first year of college, and stupid. Fortunately I got pregnant with a college senior who was a good man/boy. We loved each other, he was willing to marry me, he was able to create a financially secure life for us, and he was a good husband and father for the twenty-nine years of our marriage. But I was one of the lucky ones. Most don’t fare that well.

Even when the pregnancy is because a couple decided to have a baby the reasons aren’t always that sound. Many times, when the romance is wearing off, a couple thinks they will be able to improve their relationship by starting their family. It’s logical because, on the surface, it seems like a baby would strengthen their bond. But all it does is create stress that the relationship can’t handle. When a relationship is precarious, bringing a baby into the picture can be the proverbial straw.

My advice to my daughter-in-law was that babies should not enter the picture until after the couple has gone through the fluttery stages of love, romance, and passion. When things settle down and the couple realizes that they really, truly love each other in that deeply bonded way, when they can look at each other with deep respect and admiration and know for sure, without any doubts, that they want to be together for their foreseeable future, then and only then should they begin their family.

Unfortunately, that’s not the way people do it and today’s divorce rate is going to play havoc on our society. Children need two parents and a stable home and, sadly, way too many children are having to go without those basic things. I applaud single parents for the huge job and responsibility that it is to raise children alone, but the children are suffering in untold ways and it makes my heart sad. I’m grateful that I didn’t divorce until my children were grown. Even then, it was hard on my daughter, although she now sees that it was a good thing for my growth as a person. Just something to think about.

Get my three free ebooks about men and discover if he’s a Caveman, a Dog, a Prince or all three.

From my heart to yours,

The Single Most Important Skill You’ll Need

If you’ve ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving, passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it’s the ability to use the power you already have, as a woman, over any man you want to influence.

That’s because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is… the power that is hidden within you right now. I call it Feminine Grace and I’ll teach you how to use it. Click Here.